` To my little brother

Happy 16th Birthday, Ricardo Seng Lay!!
My little bro~

` Hectik weeks, celebrations & events! .. then work

Mood: lethargic & aggitated?
Eating: [ate]
Now playing: Drowning Pool - Sinner
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings ~

It's Ric's 16th today [30th of October, the day jusr before Halloween] .. how excitement - I kwnow~
I tried shopping and see if I could buy anything for him, after spending a lot of time at the Reject shop and buying a couple of stuff there, I figured I'd best let him decide what he wants, only that he still had school.
To solve the dilemma - just give him enough-ish money to let him buy whatever he wanted, but of course make sure he limits himself to buy things at a time, and not blow it all in one shot.
So, that's been done .. got a candle that's 'Honeymelon' for my mummy .. got a few cards, silver ribbon thingy, silver star stickers & those chocolate coins .. with little panda plushie o_o duh! Of course I'll buy it just for the sake of the panda, the bonus was that it came with chocolate *thumbs up* awesomeness!

I'm paranoid about my PI class, 'cause it says on the brief that it's due >_> and like, HOW THE HECK AM I GOING TO GET 5 DIFFERENT PEOPLE WILLING TO LET ME TAKE PICTURES OF THEM?!?!
Hardly any ... at all.
I'm screwed more 'cause I can't exactly try and talk to him tomorrow, since I got work PLUS it's waaaaaay too far to travel all the way there to ask one thing and freak out trying to get it down.
If I lose marks, I should be OK .. besides, I tried finding him today and he wasn't in .. so fcuk, I'm doubly screwed.
Hopefully, the teach will be understanding of my situation .. and heck, I barely go out at all and seriously, no one in my family is willing enough to let me take photos of them - in a non-perverted way too - completely clean.
Garrrgh!

*breathes* .. heh, it's All Hallow's Eve tomorrow .. and I'm excited!
.. yeah, I got work but I can still show up tomorrow looking like a freak 8D and I'll try to stick to regulations ... but I'm too chicken so my tribute to eyeliner once again by applying it in thick-loads .. like I used to, LOL!
I wanna go trick-o-treating .. though I doubt anyone would want to come along with me >_>" I did kinda cancel out on going to my friend's b'day party so I'll feel extra shitty for celebrating that and not be able to celebrate my friend's b'day who I don't see too often, even though we live pretty close by x_x rofl~
But yeah, I'll need to do something that day ... another tribute, to the infamous RB [RomeoBlue], the creator of my little haunting .. haha, planning on smoking one for him, and also for myself .. and I'll get to do that again the day after around 4 PM, I think.

Oh, and I also got on other assessment to finish .. with magazines, and farout I don't buy those damned things, and even if we did it's such a waste to cut stuff out from it >_> so yeah, have to finish that .. somehow explain about the photos, don't worry too much about Concept or drawing just yet.
Stress out a bit for Typo 'cause it's getting close to the due date x_x *eep* .. ftw, I'm gonna die stressing!

Anyway, I think I typed a little over my usual limit tonight.
Thanks to whoever reads these, apart from myself~

.lidia

` Music && Soul v.31

Album Cover: Lady Sovereign - Public Warning
=============================================

Song Lyrics: Lady Sovereign - Blah Blah

I see the first priorities, are discussin' me
At Mickie D's at about half three
What you munching on?
A Quarter-pounder with cheese?
Chatting about me and my abilities
"Now S.O.V, oh shit!"
"S.O.V, can’t spit!"
"S.O.V, just quit!"
Aw, whatever don’t talk wid your mouth full, bitch!
That’s right discussing me, it’s all publicity
Even if u can't stand me, your still dashing my name around the city
Its all good though, publicity for free!
White midget, uh huh, might fidget
Somebody just dialed my digits
Is it for your no one? Hmm... Is it?
Flatter by the way that I use your credit
If you gonna say that I'm nobody
Well, if I'm nobody then why are you ringing me?!
You drained your credit that’s killing it
Wow, my style? You sure you ain't feeling it?

[Chorus]:
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
What we tell 'dem? In one ear and it comes straight out the other
Repeating yourself like you got a stutter
Wiv' all your mutter like, reh reh reh rah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
All your words in my brain are turning into clutter
Repeating yourself like you got a stutter
Wiv' all your mutter like, reh reh reh rah

Yo, people want to classify me as an Eminem
White hair, what? I'm a different kind of specimen
Just because I be a white Caucasian
Doesn’t mean me and him are the same because
One, I'm not American
Two, I'm not a man
Three I'm comin' through a different kind of plan
Set the facts straight cos I know that I can
Will it ever wait 'cause I do the ultravan
Categories I don’t fit into any
Why? I'm wrote so many songs about many
Writing out more lines than Burberry
Then it will be like a victim of a bully
(spits)
Make you drink my saliva off the floor
Spit that spat
When I walked in the door release my metaphor like
Oh, blimey, it's the white girl S.O.V!

[Repeat chorus]

I know you don't boast about me over your Sunday roast
Or mid-morning cheese on toast
But when I found out you’re talking
Its all different you start squawking
“S.O.V, I never said that!”
“S.O.V, you know you ain't whack”
“S.O.V, I love your track”
What the f**k you want bitch, a pat on the back?
I’m blahbarian equals a soon to be bed friend
From the bed friend comes the next blahbarian
Then they only start caring when your preparing the next big rhythm
That every damn kid's wearin'
And Oh god, I got posh people swearing
The rich, the poor, the snobs, the whores
Oh dear Blahbarians galore!

[Repear chorus]

=============================================

` I'm broken and blue, hurt and abused ..

Mood: Extra moody
Eating: don't think I'll will be
Now playing: Emilie Simon - song of the storm
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

It's been one time, in a long time since the last time my dad ever 'beat' me.
Not senseless though, or else I wouldn't have been reasonable in my defenses *phew* .. but I'm happy at the same time, because I feel like it was the first time I ever really 'spoke out'.
It may not seem like much of an accomplishment .. but it is for me, but not only that I was trying to be reasonable, like I said, good thing he didn't beat me senseless or else it would give him more of an excuse to keep 'exercising'.

I've been really tired the last few days, so going to work really got on my nerve.
And looky here, I learnt to do the same thing as my old man and take out my stress and anger on someone 8D but I didn't beat them to an almost pulp like him.
And for that, I feel somewhat proud .. though I know it's not exactly for the good reasons.

But I finally felt like I spoke out a bit, tried to show him what he was doing.
His obviously too blind, and too ignorant to acknowledge anything .. too arrogant, and having a child speaking the simple truth seems like they're starting rebellion on him - it's what you get for being such a role model, not.

My right shoulder-blade area and a little of my neck is slightly sore, just like this little nagging ache there and my right knee is kinda like, growing a new neighbour .. who will hopefully not stick around too much as a bulge, but a permanent reminder.
Yeah, it's hurting even now.

I might just be the first to have an emotional break down at my work place and at TAFE/college 8D since in high school, I was known for it ~
I wish I could say bye for now, and forever but other times I don't to .. gah, the indecisiveness of me.

.lidia

` Slow, burning spring-time

Mood: Apathetic
Eating: Simpkins Forest Fruit Drops
Now playing: Bjork - Human Behavior
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings ~

I'm sooo tired after work, maybe also because I shower late at night before going to sleep, only having to wake up early the next/again for work or school.
I know, I should know better .. but I'm stubborn in my ways .. in many ways.

I don't feel like doing much still, also due to the weather because it's heating up already and it's not even summer yet. Just spring and we're at boiling point .. I can imagine us catching on fire in the summer .. scary.
I really don't like summer.

I haven't been writing too many great poems as of lately .. and I don't write much at all nowadays.
I miss those days.
My creativity, motivation, the art feel .. seems like they all ran away and hid from me .. never to be found again.
I don't know anymore.
I think I should try writing, in a bit.

Been totally addicted to all sort of music, that's more ethereal .. slow, classy, indie .. I can't explain well.
But yeah .. I'll get to that writing I said I'd try.
So, thanks for reading ~

.lidia

` Music && Soul v.30

Album Cover: Sarah Blasko - The Overture & The Underscore
=============================================

Song Lyrics: Sarah Blasko - Don't U Eva

You've got a way with words
You've got a way that makes me feel so complicated
Your message meets the floor
The horizon meets your horse and you're deliberated
I'm only clearing my throat

[Chorus]:
Don't you ever wish for
Just one thing that you might never see
Don't you ever wish for
Just one thing that you might never know
You might never know

You've got a way with words
You've got a way that makes me feel so complicated
A wall keeps you from me
You'd raise the door just so you could find the key
The wolves are waiting

[Repeat chorus]

I'm underground
As the words just spin around
And you hunt them down
Try to pin them to the ground
There will be no sound
As the words tumble out
And you won't be found
By the time you hit the ground

You've got a way with words [x3]
(With words, with words)

[Repeat chorus]

You might never know

(Don't you ever wish for, don't you ever wish for)
You might never know
You might never know

(Don't you ever wish for, don't you ever wish for)
Oh, you might never know

=============================================

` Loves quickies; Chu's b'day & TAFE

Mood: ?
Eating: Simpkins Forest Fruit Drops
Now playing: Garbage - Garbage - Sex Is Not The Enemy
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings ~

Saturday 13th of October was hella awesome - Chu's b'day outing to LunaPark then went to eat @ Jap restaurant - food was delicous! - and then karaoke where I almost lost my voice from trying to sing as loud as everyone else [and they sing REALLY loud for little people :# roflbbq~]

ZOMG, and today is Chu's actual b'day - so a BIG hip-hip-hooray to her!!!
*PARTY*

Got some gouche paintings to finish, and labels to design .. not sure if I wanna work tomorrow >_> 'cause it's right in the middle of the day, and I'll need all the time I can get!!
*Eep* .. probably cancel early morning .. say I'm feeling crook or something .. cross it out on my mum's list of when I'm working - iunno!
Oh, and yeah schools back ...... *drone*

Blah.
That's about it .. just thought I'd update a bit~

.lidia

` Pass, pass, pass

Mood: CBF
Eating: nothing
Now playing: Jewel - Foolish Games
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

Been such a lousy long day .. can't be assed starting assessments, still.
Got invited to go to Chu's b'day outing .. love her dress code: gothic/punk .. God I love her, she's an awesome friend. It should be fun, for once I hope .. most parties are boring.

Haven't been typing up anything poet-like .. seems like I'm really mellowing out.
Oh, and my mum had a dream where I got shot and then I somehow shot that person back .. but I die, and she said she woke up crying ;_; *hugs mummy* don't cry mummy!! I'm still here!

So yeah, a little worried .. paranoid more like it, everyday.
Oh well .. there's just so much I worry about .. random things, personal things ..
Ah! There's this anime called 'School Days' .. that's some f'd up but seriously deep storyline there - I loved it, and I could relate .. which is somewhat scary but also understandable.

Nothing else much, work work work .. and when I have free time I can't be stuffed 'cause of all the work .. so assessments get left unattended to, yet again.
*sigh* Anyway, that's about it for now .. I might end up typing up something after this, maybe not, but: thanks for reading ~

.lidia

` Music && Soul v.29

Album Cover: Bjork - Post
=============================================

Song Lyrics: Bjork - Hyper-ballad

We live on a mountain
Right at the top
This beautiful view
From the top of the mountain

Every morning I walk towards the edge
And throw little things off
Like car parts, bottles and cutlery
or whatever I find lying around
It's become a habit
A way to start the day

[Chorus]:
I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

[Repeat chorus]

It's real early morning
No one is awake
I'm back at my cliff
Still throwing things off

I listen to the sounds they make
On their way down
I follow with my eyes till they crash
Imagine what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks

And when it lands
Will my eyes my closed or open

[Repeat chorus x3]

Safe up (here with you) [x7] ..

=============================================

` Possible withdrawal & other excitements

Mood: Lazy
Chewing: Wrigley's Extra Professional
Now playing: garbage - Garbage - Use Me
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

Haven't been updating this much .. as in, blog much, at all.
Can't be bothered, so lazy .. and being on holidays make me extra, extra lazy .. but I've out a bit, was invited to Hung's belated 19th b'day party .. I gotta say though, it wasn't what I'd expected .. so many new faces, and 'specially with me I feel so out of place .. gosh, I just kept to myself.
Oh, not to mention I got there early and decided I'd go with the guys to buy alkie .. and I didn't bring any ID on me so they couldn't get anything .. embarrassing but zomg, how stupid is that .. I didn't even drink any alkie that night too *rolls eyes* I should've put more make-up on so I'd look older .. cha~ for once I wanted to look older.

Moving along, so people I knew didn't come till much later, and I was pretty much all by myself and fending off strangers' glances.
I have to admit, I'm starting to become anti-social again .. withdrawal and whatnot. I couldn't stand the party, and I felt like going home much earlier .. only my anorexic phone stuffed up on me so I couldn't use my SIM to call anyone - farout.

Aside from the bad things, been watching Nana, the anime .. and I really like it.
I like the story lines .. the complexity of it all, with being completely blind in what love is with the innocent Nana, to the deep love for Ren with the rockstar Nana - I love rockstar Nana, lol~
I particularly like how both Nana's didn't have such simple lives .. I want something like that, but not too extreme .. and neither one of them had anything really bad happen .. so yeah, I'd like something complex like theirs to happen to me someday .. I think I already went through the blind love, heh .. so now, I want to find a deep love with someone .. *sigh* if only though .. but I can dream~!

Oh, I've also been into Alanis Morissette a lot now .. love her song Crazy, Hand in my pocket & Uninvited .. they sound totally rad! Been trying to look up more songs from her .. but can't, ah well.

Well, that's about it .. just thought I'd update my blog a bit.
Thanks for reading~

.lidia