` It takes two to tango.

Mood: Mopey + depressive
Eating: Artisse Organic Swiss Milk Chocolate
Now playing: avril lavigne - forgotten
via FoxyTunes
----------------

lovelies,

I haven't posted/updated this in a while.
My apologises.
I've been very consumed with getting TAFE/college projects done and all that, so being the extremely anxious/paranoid/hyperventilating person I am .. well, I hope you see why I haven't really come on here to remind myself about how much I'm behind.

I am currently enjoying my 2nd week of holidays!
As to why I'm so excited that now I have absolutely not much to do, I have no idea.
Because I have literally been, having not much to do.
I'm just at home, not doing anything .. productive, to the level I'm comfortable with anyway.
I have however, been trying to do something for my little forum home where a I decided to help out in the design section. Right up my alley.
Got like, one design up but am working on getting more into it .. soon, when I'm not so unwanting to do something :P

I'm still poor as ever.
That might just be because I've been purchasing so many books before I got into the holidays.
Bought myself THE saga: Twilight Saga, with all four books, hardcover + little box-shelf thing PLUS, I also got like these poster-postcard like cards of the cover pictures.
All for $120, @ QBD, the bookstore.
While before the 4th book came out, the 3 books cost like a near $80 without the hardcovers or any freebies at that! major score!

Anyway, I have been promised outings.
So hopefully all the plans made are not on a weekend, since work conveniently booked my entire weekend full of workings for the next 3 weeks.
Just lovely. [gag!]
The ones that are planned so far are all sounding good, as they fall on a weekday, meaning I'm free though still worried about the details about how and when I'll be getting home because I know with a group of people going, I'm sure we'll all be wanting to stay longer!!
My fingers are crossed for any further plans to happen, happen on a weekday as I'm free for sure those weekdays .. and hope I am called out a little more often.
I'm going to get so depressive if I stay inside my house anymore than I already am!!

There was a disagreement with a net buddy that I had hoped to meet up with.
We are currently not talking to each other and I feel like shit because it seems it's my fault, and I have to admit, it probably is.
But I am trying to better myself at presenting myself ... as it seems my 'friend' has misread some of my intentions and thinks I'm being a bitchy-bitch.
I realise not everyone can be your friend, but I get very anxious when people can and will blatantly say to me that they don't like me.
Being me, I get hurt too easily and thus, I am always trying to appeal to people which can sometimes backfire when I assume my course of behaviour around them is suddenly deemed 'erratic' for their tastes, but pretending to be happy isn't always easy.

MOVING ALONG!
I don't want to think too much about the net buddy situation.
It got me crying myself to sleep and woke up crying, got me writing a poem over it and still making me feel crappy till this day.
Just going to enjoy myself with my girls and friends :)
Wish me luck.

-- lids.

P.S: A little visual I took yesterday. It made me happy.

` Music && Soul v.61; Blood Red Shoes

Album Cover: Blood Red Shoes - Box of Secrets
=============================================
Song Lyrics: Blood Red Shoes - I Wish I Was Someone Better

[Verse 1] x2:
Made a mistake
I made a mistake
I wear the scars to show my shame

[Verse 2]:
What should I do?
What should I do?
When I'm the one who can't get through

[Verse 3]:
What should I do?
What should I do?
When I'm the one hey, I'm the one to blame

I (woo ooh oo)
Can't (woo ooh)
See (woo ooh)
Past (woo ooh oo)
This (woo ooh oo)
Chance (woo ooh oo)
For us to (woo ooh oo)
Reconcile these doubts! (woo ooh oo)
They've all (woo ooh oo)
Gone on (woo ooh oo)
For far too long (woo ooh oo)
Yeah it goes on and on and on and on (woo ooh oo)
On and on and on and on (woo ooh oo)

[Repeat verse 1, 2, 3]

Just (woo ooh oo)
Not (woo ooh oo)
Built (woo ooh oo)
For (woo ooh oo)
This (woo ooh oo)
Role (woo ooh oo)
And all the time (woo ooh oo)
Much better spent! (woo ooh oo)
But it all drags on for far too long (woo ooh oo)
And it drags on and on and on and on (woo ooh oo)
On and on and on and on (woo ooh oo)

[Repeat verse 1, 2, 3]

I wish I was someone better [x14]

Made a mistake [x16]

=============================================

` Crapolla and other such things.

Mood: somber

Eating: Confetteria Raffaello
Now playing: Blood Stain Child - Freedom
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~~

I think I failed to note in previous entries that I changed the appearance of my desktop again.
It's a nice jade-ish green colour + black :) yay!

Isn't beautiful :') ??

Haha, anyway!
I'll be finishing my first half of my 2nd year by December 8th, and I'm seriously looking forward to it too much @____@ because I still have plenty of assignments to get completed beforehand.
This is bad because, knowing me, I will leave it till last minute and probably not get it finished in time and like, it'll be too late to hand in everything afterward then, since teachers would be on a holiday break too, thus I really need to get cracking!!
Aside from that, what else has happened?

• Cousin from Darwin has been staying at my house for about 3 days now. He will be staying for about 2 weeks in total, I believe.
• My parents have threatened me more about practicing driving.
• I'm at a critical low money-wise.
• Can't attend my friends' b'day outing due to random finish time that would probably end at like, midnight.
• Missed sleep again and stayed up all night but did nothing productive whatsoever.
• Trying to get my fringe working properly with that side-swoop ..?
• Posted some poem since in a long while on dA.
• Got some Bio-Oil to help reduce appearance of my stretch marks :D
• Hoping to meet up with a net-buddy with possible hook-up, lol - we shall see.

I think that's about it :)
Thank you for bothering to read/skip through down to this part - you're awesome!

--lidia.

` Music && Soul v.60; Blood Red Shoes

Album Cover: Red Blood Shoes - Box Of Secrets
=============================================
Song Lyrics: Red Blood Shoes - This Is Not For You

Can you hear them rushing in
Hate to think how long its been
Wasting time at finding faults
Voice a question, take a shot

I don't want you to think I do
These things I do because of you

Tightly kept from misread words
Wash away those things I heard

[Chorus]:
Let's pretend that everything is just fine
Let's pretend that everything is alright
Let's pretend that everything is just fine - better, better
Let's pretend that everything is alright - better, better

Carried hopes were not enough
Draw a line at things we've got
Hate to say that you were right
Many ways I've failed in sight

I don't want you to think I do
These things I do because of you

Walked in circles, held in breath
Stumbled back into this mess

[Repeat chorus]

[Are you listening?
Are you watching out for who they are now?] x8

=============================================

` Close to Hallow's Eve+Christmas+New Years

Mood: sombre-ish
Drinking: Water
Now playing: Roxette - You Don't Understand Me
via FoxyTunes
---------------

darlings~

I think it's time for some updates, don't you agree?
Well, what's been happening:

• Still pretty broke, but a little less so.
• Almost finished my first half of my 2nd year of my course.
• Got my hair trimmed, and got a fringe with it too -- finally in a long time.
• I did get back to a weight of about 57kgs but gained some back in a short while.
• Got myself those part-of-mediocre-teen-mags diary for 2009 which is pretty nice.
• Drinking a lot more water.
• Finally got around to posting my 2007-08 doodles/sketches of my notebook.

So, some progress and setbacks but pretty much going forward so far.
OH! and I finally watched Kung Fu Panda which is epic + made of awesome.
... strangely, I can't remember what else to type up. will have to update this again some later time :) lol, so till then, Thanks for reading anyway!

--lidia.

` Music && Soul v.59; Chairlift

Album Cover: Chairlift - Does You Inspire You
=============================================
Song Lyrics: Chairlift - Bruises

[Verse 1]:
I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Every time I fell on you yeah every time I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But every time I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue
Permanently blue for [you]

[Repeat Verse 1]

[Chorus]:
You-ooo
For you-ooo
So black and blue-ooo
For you-ooo

[Male Verse]:
I grabbed some frozen strawberries
So I could ice your bruisy knees
But frozen things they all unfreeze and now I taste like
All those frozen strawberries
I used to chill your bruisy knees
Hot July ain't good to me
I'm pink and black and blue

[Verse 2]:
[I] got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue [for]

[Repeat Verse 2 & Chorus]

Do-doo-do-do-do [x7]

=============================================

` Not-so-fun Rollercoaster Life

Mood: A little refreshed
Drink: Water :)
Now playing: Lamb of God - Walk with Me In Hell
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

Today, sometime at 8 am this morning, my friend Anny and I went jogging!
This is something because I've never done anything like this before, make that, never really gone and exercised during my own time and not during those high school days when in years 7 - 10, we had to do sport activities.
We went jogging at the back/front of our houses, at this park sort of place. I'm unsure what it's suppose to be exactly because it's like, this piece of land the government decided to make look pretty as it was just the large area you had to cross to get to the shops, as well as the T-way bus station that was just in between.
I thought I would've been able to do at least a big lap, but after doing a small lap within the area, both Anny and I were poofed. Like, stopping every now and then and trying to breathe.
Just shows how fit we are :D I joke, we're totally in need of getting into shape more often.

After 3 laps around, we decided that was pretty much it and sit/stood to cool down and chit-chat.
We talked about so many random things, and that's funny because we live quite near to each other yet we haven't seen each other for about say, a couple of months!
So, I was updating Anny about the day before the day we were originally going to go jogging but didn't, so that makes it the Tuesday I met up with a net buddy of mine who was originally my older cousin's net buddy, who she kinda got weirded out by so I was like, let me talk to him :D due to me thinking, I'm weirder, how weird could he get, *laughsnort*.

Turns out he is quite weird, or at least, he just screwed up a nice day in my opinion.
I've been chatting to him for a while now myself and finally comfortable enough to set up a meet up, so I said why not, because I just meet ups as they are and nothing else.
Anyway, we booked a ticket to see WALL-E then went and got something to eat at Pepper Lunch where they bring you your food on this wok-looking plate and you have to quickly start flipping your meats and cooking whatever you ordered. Chit-chatted until I finally finished as I'm slow eating things that are hot in heat-wise.
Walked around a bit because we still had time to kill before we went to sit down at the cinemas, and funnily he does a cooking course at TAFE/college and we walked past a pastry shop where we stopped and looked for a bit, him pointing out what he'd already made before and me pointing at things I would eat or what I wanted to eat anyway.
Time to go watch the film, and I swear, anyone who hasn't watched WALL-E so far, I totally recommend watching it ASAP! It was a really good film, and in between we chatted about the film and just generally exclaiming whatever popped into our heads at certain scenes.

See, everything is going so well and soon the movie is finished.
What should we do now? Go the the book store, Kinokuniya! because I LOVE books + novels.
Didn't really have anything in mind to look at, but I eventually bought a book after about an hour later. It had a nice red cover on it, and small amounts of goldish colouring :)
About now is the time things start to go weird.

We didn't know where we would go from there and it was kinda still early for me to head back home to call it a day, so he said he needed to head back to his apartment to go to the loo because, personally myself, I can't stand going to public places and his like, you can come over my apartment if you'd like.
For me, I didn't think that implied anything more .. or maybe I'm the only blind one here, but eventually got some anime to watch that I haven't seen before and he was making a fuss about me not having seen this like it was a crime.
So I'm watching it, and it was quite interesting then noticed that the time has passed and I was like shit, it's late I better get ready to go home and I find this frustrating because I rarely go out and like, my sense of direction is non-existent so I was worried I would get lost BECAUSE he fell asleep when I was watching the anime >:( and I thought he was at least walk me back to the station, make sure I don't get lost for one! and like, be a good host or something.
No, when I tried to wake him up and tell him I needed to go, he grabs me slightly and brings me close to him and then he kinda tried to plant a slightly wet one on my cheek, which sorta missed but got me anyway and I quickly pulled back, wiped my cheek using my shoulders and was like errrr ... WTF just happened. I'm thinking, was that him just saying goodbye but he fell right back to sleep, and I'm sitting there thinking .. should I wake him up again and risk getting pinned or something >_> or just like go.
I decided on the latter.

I had my notebook in my bag, and left him a note saying I was going and then went to see if we somewhat awake to tell him I was going.
He wakes up a little more better than before >_>" and was like, something about giving him a hug to which I simply smiled, sorta shook my head and waved bye instead then left.

The guy at the front desk was nice enough to point out the directions to the station, but I forgot after one turn -_-" so then I had to ask once more and luckily, I just had to keep walking for a bit, turn once more then keep walking and I pretty much found my own way from there.
THANK GOD FOR THAT, because then I realised my mum called several times before so I quickly called back and luckily again, she wasn't upset about me not picking up and said I was heading home right now and yeah, no more walking around.


All that, I told to Anny as we were resting.
She replied with some laughs and OMGs about how the guy probably over thought things, and she also suggested he probably did that, the kiss on the cheek on purpose to imply more and that it probably wasn't to greet me a farewell. I'd have to agree that the way he did it, probably meant he wanted more than that -_-" *big sweat drop*
Sorry, I probably sound like such a BLEEP right now, but for me, the meet up was seriously, just meeting up with a net buddy to finally see each other in the real and NOTHING MORE. And seriously, I don't think I ever tried to say anything that would imply anything either.
Anyway, I told her how it kinda freaked me out because it reminded me too much of my "ex" who in the end, turned out to be a jerk-face and a creep. Too much bad memories with that *gags* ex .. he really scares me the way he tried to bring back very personal things last time I ever talked to him.
Ha, deleted + blocked his contact from my hotmail and mobile and got rid of anything that he was a member at network sites of and pfft, hope that my connections with him are gone.
As for the net buddy, he had a trip to the mountains the day after so I won't be seeing him online until tomorrow maybe, but even then, I'm probably not going to feel right the next I talk to him.
Oh, and I'm definitely going to keep my cousin away from him, as much of a nice guy he was .. he really sucks as a host, laugh.


One more thing I need to add to this day - my parents are in Melbourne visiting my grandma, who the doctors gave about 3 -6 months.
I can't make it because I need to finish those damned projects for college, I need the programs and no one has them over there, plus, I'd probably never be able to get my hands onto a keyboard anyway since we'd probably be driving around a lot, so I didn't go.
My one and only brother is also with me, so just him and I home alone with a couple of containers of food in the fridge my mum had cooked before she went.
Um .. yeah, it's been a weird week so far.
I think my dad will break again soon whenever he comes back, and take it out on me mostly. Better me than my brother or mum any day - I never wish harm upon them so if I'm the one to hurt, better that way.


SO! Thus it pretty much sums it up so far.
I wonder where my not-so-fun rollercoaster life will lead me.

--lidia.

` Music && Soul v.58; Red

Album Cover: Red - End of Silence
=============================================
Song Lyrics: Red - Breathe Into Me

And this is how it feels when
I ignore the words you spoke to me
And this is where I lose myself
When I keep running away from you
And this is who I am when
When I don't know myself anymore
And this is what I choose
When it's all left up to me

[Chorus]:
Breathe your life into me
I can feel you
I'm falling, falling faster
Breathe your life into me
I still need you
I'm falling, falling
Breathe into me

Breathe into me

And this is how it looks when
I am standing on the edge
And this is how I break apart
When I finally hit the ground
And this is how it hurts when
I pretend I don't feel any pain
And this is how I disappear
When I throw myself away

[Repeat chorus]
Breathe into me [x3]

[Repeat chorus]

Breathe your life into me
I'm falling, falling faster
Breathe your life into me
Falling, falling, falling

Breathe into me [x4]
Breathe
=============================================

` Let the EPIC begin! *snort*not.

Mood: A little happy
Drinking: Water :o)
Now playing: Coldplay - Viva la Vida
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

Yes, I decided to change my layout position of the type because I kept getting lost when I re-read previous entries.
The reason why I had started using the 'align to the right' was because I didn't like following the status quo and align everything to the left, but in all seriousness, it just makes it easier to read.


Moving along, the reason for this blog entry is because I thought I was in need of some updating!
First things first, I'm currently on my TAFE/college mini-holiday break that goes for 2 weeks, so by the time I get back to class I need to have completed a few projects that were needed to be done during my 'break' period.

Also, I got myself a Nintendo DS Lite in black because the limited edition red + black .. well, the red didn't look too hot with its sparkly-ness >_>" really, I think a small scratch and it would've gone through all that paint job of the red. With it though, I got the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time game so all up it costed me about AU$234 [DS=$188/Game=$68? but half priced b.c of bundle...].
Then my brother complained I shouldn't have gotten the game, I asked why and he was like .. just get this thing called an R4 and DL games onto it then when you input the R4 into the DS, you can play the games you DLed 8D awesome~
So now, I've been quite addicted to playing Pokémon Diamond and surprisingly, I was playing with NO CHEATS, though I'll be using them soon >D because I seriously can't be bothered to train all my pokémon one by one, or like, start off one pokemon then switch and stuff so you train 2 at one time, etc. Takes me too long, and I like have godly pokemon to pwn other players and stuff :3

ANYWAY! I was working today [& yesterday] and I was left a piece of mud cake.
That is, only the certain people were able to have a share and I barely knew about it, but for some reason they remembered me and left me a piece too :') that's probably the few most unexpectly nice things people have done for me just because, and yes, it made me feel more than happy than a normal person should, but heck, I never was normal XD
But HOLD IT! I haven't eaten the cake yet :O surprise surprise - this reason being that I LOVE D< chocolate, but I have been holding out on eating any chocolate during my collge break, but I can cheat and have choc-flavoured things such as yogurt and Milo (choc) milk .. but I failed anyway because I did eat a chocolate biscut and chocolate Kinder candy biscut thing, which is orgasmically delicious. But I haven't had any chocolate blocks to eat, which I could seeing there is quite a lot from the times I bought loads of due to sales.

Back to the cake though!! I'm saving the piece for either my brother or mum, but I'd love to give it to my mum to enjoy (even though she doesn't like that much chocolate) due to the fact that my mum's birthday is coming up tomorrow!!
No, I haven't gotten her anything .. that's because I've been giving her $100 every week, plus 10% a day if I'm late (lol), and since I've been spending too much, as my college is very near to a Westfields/big mall ... well, I think you get the picture. I have something like, less than $300 in my bank account now ^_^" hahahahaha ... hahah .. heh .. Hmmmm.
I used to have over $5000, I shit you not.


So what's new with me?

• I gained some pounds (weight wise) then lost some
  
• I finally acquired a portable gaming device (Nintendo DS Lite)
• I was offered cake even though it had nothing to do with me at all
• I received some income, but
• I lost majority of it so far by spending thus
• I am quite poor now.
• I will still go out to meet ups with net bud(dies)

I think that pretty much completes my list of REAL LIFE events.
As for my interenet life .. I have had little to no activity at my art community deviantART. But I do comment and +fav a lot of pieces ;) and I got mentioned to be future credited by Jarred/Itchitake on a piece he will be working on - yay! because I try to give happy-happy comments XD lolage, I just like to type what pops into mind on whatever I see/read :8)
My little place of haunting that brings back memories of my gothical ways, which I think will always stick to me, has recently been revamped to a new sever but now the section I get to moderate is like, gone T_T and that means I can't do my part as Staff too well.

Um ... half RL half IL, I had sent over my reply-package-mail to my penpal Courtney/Scarlette/phantompenguins and know that she received it about last month and I'm hoping to get a letter back from her :)
My other, more closer RL/IL bestie Lee, I haven't heard from yet, but that's because he always seems to have trouble with signing into Hotmail and his parents do know how to work the web, unlike like mine, laugh. I just hope everything is going fine for him, and that work hasn't caused him too much distress and that his getting his fair share and isn't being treated unfairly, because otherwise, those causing him distress will have to deal with me and I do become quite scary when I'm fired up.
But anyway, I miss hearing from both Lee and Courtney .. I get lonely easily *scrunches nose* I doubt I'd cope too well living on my own, but that other side of me longs for the independence and privacy.


BLAH! I think that pretty much ends my post, I think :D
Thanks for reading through all that mumbo-jumbo <3>muchly appreciated even though I probably don't thank you directly, but it would help if you like, leave a comment so like, I can visit you and leave a comment thanking you *hinthint* :D

--lidia.

` Music && Soul v.57; Chad Kroeger ft. Josey Scott

Album Cover: Chad Kroeger ft. Joesy Scott - Hero
=============================================
Song Lyrics: Chad Kroeger ft. Josey Scott - Hero

I am so high, I can hear heaven
I am so high, I can hear heaven
Oh, but heaven, no heaven don't hear me

[Chorus]:
And they say that a hero can save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
And I'll hold on to the wings of an eagles
Watch as we all fly away

Someone told me that love would all save us
But how can that be? Look what love gave us
A world full of killing and blood spilling
That world never came

[Repeat chorus]
Oh

Now that the world isn't ending
It's love that I'm sending to you
It isn't the love of a hero
And that's why I fear it won't do

[Repeat chorus]

[And they're watching us (watching us)
They're watching us (watching us)
As we all fly away] x3
Woah

=============================================

` Sometimes, I'm more than crazy.

Mood: Grumpy-esque & tired
Drinking: WATER! healthy eating...
Now playing: Emilie Simon - Swimming
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

I.am.lacking.MAJOR.sleep.
So to say the least, my grumpiness follows due to the tiredness and everything getting to me more, things are just more irritable than usual and so on.
Ha, and I had read a previous entry about wanting to stay awake by fellow dA buddy and Blogger, Jarred but that might have been due to nightmares, which was also part of that said previous entry, hmmm .. I'd probably want to stay awake too if creatures like that would manifest itself whenever we had bad nights sleeping due to having nightmares.

...

Anyway, I really should be doing some college homework.
BUT! Being the possibly Adult ADD diagnosed that I am, I just can't seem to focus on what I need to get done until the very last minute!
I know I should go see the doctors about it, but heck, I barely get enough time to do any homework, as I really don't have enough time left by the time I get home, from traveling home, from college. A major brain-buster just then X_X

I need to finish off a website design, that I can code in Dreamweaver - which I don't have as I only still have like, oh, Windows XP and the very first edition of it not to mention, so I'm very limited on the kind of new programs/softwares I can install onto my computer.
Thus, I'm screwed if I don't have it ready by .. tonight/this morning, because if I don't have the very basics I'll most likely be behind class - again.
I have too many other college projects I'm lagging on because:
a) I get too many to handle
b) I can never concentrate enough to start any till the last minute
c) I'm so tired of staying up all day and night just trying to start off, but isntead drifting off to sleeps every few seconds and thus, the brain is unable to fuction to it's mostly full copacity.
Again, I am seriously not feeling that urgentness to complete anything still.

...

I really, really, really, REALLY need some sort of new computer to handle graphic files, be able to have the latest programs/softwares that I can use to finish off projects and something I can take with me as well so I can continue working on said projects in case I still stay up.
THEREFORE!
I'm in dire need of a MACbook, pronto/stat!!
My dad's work mate had suggested to him that he could get a MACbook PRO for less than the $2000 mark, for around $1700 which I no longer have that much in my bank account as I've taken money out to give to my Mummy on a weekly basis where she holds onto it.
Like a bank where I have no access, but can be sure neither does anyone else except for the one holding onto it for me (Mum) and whenever I need to use it, I probably will be able to get to use some of that money, where I hope to save up on that MACbook PRO.
I hope the offer is still valid though ... T^T *cries*

Too much melodrama in my life!
I can't wait to successfully finish to get my diploma and find some work in my area of liking, where I've spent 2 years worth learning about and hope that will allow some passage into the workfield I'm looking forward to, or I can work at home and become a noobie graphi designer trying to offer anything I'm good at, for service and hope for the best.
Who knows, maybe I can earn some living like my buddy from high school, Chung, whose been drawing anime since I've known her and has been making a living off it through dA and Gaia, and such and she'll be finishing her diploma this year at a different TAFE/college than mine.

MOVING ALONG!
I'm still CBF about college stuff, can't seem to sleep when I really need to go rest up.
GARH!! My body/brain is stupid! Yes, I know .. me included!!!!
I'm an existence that shouldn't have been, really .. but considering the circumstances, I just wasn't meant to happen so soon, or maybe never.
Pfft~! That one was up to my dad, but he married my mum still after he got the news, ha.

I wants to hit my head on something to render my unconscious, allowing me sleep, an excuse for not having finished anything at all and hopefully, rebooting my "get active" system :)




--lidia.

` Music && Soul v.56; 3 Doors Down

Album Cover: 3 Doors Down - The Better Life
=============================================
Song Lyrics: 3 Doors Down - Kryptonite

Well I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time
But I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something to do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you be my friend at the end

[Chorus]:
[And] If I go crazy then will you still call my Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

You call my strong, you call me weak
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down

You stumbled in and bumped your head
If not for me then you'll be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground

[Repeat chorus x2]

Yeah

[Repeat chorus]

Woooh, woh, wooooooh [x3]

=============================================

` Catching up on sleep will never happen, woe.

Mood: HMMM!
Thirsty for: Good ol' water
Now playing: The Bee Gees - Words
----------

darlings~

Right at this very moment, I am damned thirsty!!
Still PMSing blood crap, so I don't want to walk all the way downstairs -- the pains of being a girl, but oh the many joys such as being able to wear ridiculous outfits for both genders.
Gender-bender!

Anyway, just wanted to updated a bit.
All these college assessments are all due on the same week, and I'm just a little worried about my files getting corrupted because that's what's been happening lately whenever I save from PC and try to open on MAC.
The many disadvantages of being home to PC land instead of MAC, where I'd probably fit in better as a designer, but staying true to my nooby-nerdy-gaming ways, I still love PC.
I really need to get about getting that 16G USB flash stick >_>" but I'm never finding enough time to do everything I need on the only day off I have (Tuesday, which is tomorrow) and it really sucks bollocks!

Moving along, however, a college buddy suggesting a comedy show called The Mighty Boosh which I am trying to pass onto my brother to watch.
I'm quite an oddball when it comes to these things, such as liking British comedy and 60s and 80s music -- I really do sound much older than I really am, I mean, I even get people saying I look older than I really am.
*le sigh*
The same said college buddy has also converted me to some of her music tastes as well, such as SoKo and other indie/folk musicians -- all very greatly appreciated of course, because again, my tastes are shifting and changing!

Coming college break, I'll need to get onto a get-fit routine.
I've been loading on the fat during winter to stay warm and toasty and now it's starting to warm up, I can shed all that chocolate sprees blubber.
I wonder if I can get back to a 50kg weight (:B)? I hope I can, I miss my skinny days XD

Well, I better get going to sleep!!!!
I hope I can get up early enough to get my mum to trim my hair for me, since I don't think I'll be going to a hairdressers again for just a cut or trim .. only for a perm, if I'm wanting it, but that would be it.
First and last time I went, my hair was crooked AND I told her to leave me dragon tails (a couple of strands on either side, base of hair) and she left me like ... 3 strands total?!?!
So yeah .. I'll leave the cutting to my mum and myself, thanks.

A thank you to those who check up on my blabbering :)




--lidia.

` Music && Soul v.55; SoKo

Album Cover: SoKo - Not Sokute
=============================================
Song Lyrics: SoKo - I'll Kill Her

(So of course, you were suppose to call me tonight)

You were suppose to call me tonight
We'd have gone to the cinema
And afterwards the restaurant
The one you like in your street

We'd have slept together
Had a nice breakfast together
And a walk in the park together
How beautiful it'd been

You would have said 'I love you'
In the cutest place on earth
Where some lullabies are dancing with the fairies

[Bridge]:
I would have waited like a week or two
But you never tried to reach me, no
You never called me back
You were dating that bleached blonde girl
And if I find her I swear, I swear


[Chorus]:
[I'll kill her] I'll kill her
She stole my future, she broke my dream
I'll kill her, I'll kill her
She stole my future when you she took you away

I would have met your friends
We would have a drink or two
They would have liked me 'cause
Sometimes I'm funny
I would have met your dad
I would have met your mum, she would've said
'Please, can you make some beautiful babies'
So we would have had a boy called Tom
And a girl called Susan
Born in Japan

I thought it was a love story
But you don't want to get involved
I thought it was a love story
But you're not ready for that

Me neither
[Repeat chorus]

She's a bitch you know, all she's got is blondeness
Not even tenderness, yeah she's clever-less
She'll dump your ass for a model called Brendan
He will pay for a beautiful surgery, because he's full of money

[Repeat bridge & chorus (x2)]

Man, I told you
If I find her, I mean really
I'll kill her for real
'Cause that's for sure
You have to know
You mean, ah, you know
I can do it
Man, I'll kill her

[YouTube version]:
(Man, I told you
If I find her, I mean really
I'll kill her for real
I'll just find something, anything
A gun if I can
Anything
And I'm strong enough, so I'll do it
I'll kill her)

=============================================

` The trial of the 7 days of perioding of DOOM

Mood: RAWR!
Eating: Vicks VapoDrops Original Menthol
Now playing: Papa Roach - Broken Home
-----------

darlings~

Yes, I am quite addicted to that song by A7X, but I can't help it!
It's got that catchy broadway/Nightmare Before Christmas feel to it, plus what the song is about it quite unforgettable in itself; necrophilia.
Now I don't condone this sort of thing at all .. it's the story about the couple that got to me -- hit me right in the face, particularly the original video clip that went with the song which is kinda full on and silly at the same time.
But the thought of coming back from beyond and coming back as something else, yet still that other is wanting to be with you still ... is it just me, or am I little whacked to think it was romantic?
Well, we all knew I was quite an obsessive freak anyway so to the future partner I've yet to encounter has had fair warning.

Moving along, I'll keep this short and say I've got my periods today 8D
.. oh, joy.
No seriously though, I was wondering why I felt a little bit too uncomfy down there and why was it my panties kept riding up my crack .. well, LOL, it usually does particularly that one anyway and well .. good thing I was wearing black that day!!
*phew* I did get stained TT^TT so BOOoooooooOOOOoooo!
*rofls* I know, you didn't need to know just what I had just typed up .. but you read on :P

So yeah, WARNING!!!
While I am starting my 7 days of PMSing I will be, like somebody else and have so many mood changes you'd think I was like the weather these days.
Yes, unfortunately those that will have to bear my continual presense will have to hide for shelter whenever I start to even twitch.
THIS IS A PRE-WARNING FOR YOUR OWN WELL BEING!!!!!!
That's how much I love you people, I warn them of the dangers beforehand :)

Keeping it short -- thanks muchly to those that bother to read this far; you're a legend!




.lidia

` Music && Soul v.54; Avenged Sevenfold

Album Cover: Avenged Sevenfold - Avenged Sevenfold
=============================================

Song Lyrics: Avenged Sevenfold - A Little Piece of Heaven

Before the story begins, is it such a sin
For me to take what's mine until the end of time
We were more than friends before the story ends
And I will take what's mine, create what God would never design

Our love had been so strong for far too long
I was weak with fear that something would go wrong
Before the possibilities came true, I took all possibility from you
Almost laughed myself to tears, conjuring her deepest fears

Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times
I can't believe it
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes
Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it

She was never this good in bed even when she was sleeping
Now she's just so perfect, I've never been quite so fucking deep in
It goes on and on, and on, I can keep you looking young
And preserved forever, with a fountain to spray on your youth whenever

[Bridge 1]:
'Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it's not your time, but bye-bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it's over but it's just begun, but baby don't cry

[Bridge 2]:
You had my heart, at least for the most part
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime
We fell apart, let's make a new start
'Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, yeah yeah, but baby, don't cry

Now possibilities I'd never considered
Are occurring the likes of which I'd never heard
Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave
To repossess a body with which I'd misbehaved

Smiling right from ear to ear
Almost laughed herself to tears

Must have stabbed him fifty fucking times
I can't believe it
Ripped his heart out right before his eyes
Eyes over easy, eat it, eat it, eat it

Now that it's done, I realise the error of my ways
I must venture back to apologize
From somewhere far beyond the grave

I gotta make up for what I've done
'Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven
While you burned in hell, no peace forever

[Repeat bridge 1 & 2]

I will suffer for so long
(What will you do, not long enough?)
To make it up to you
(I pray to God that you do)
I'll do whatever you want me to do
(Well then I'll break you unchained)

And if it's not enough
(If it's not enough, if it's not enough)
If it's not enough
(Not enough)
Try again (try again)
And again (and again)
Over and over again

We're coming back, coming back
We'll live forever, live forever
Let's have a wedding, have a wedding
Let's start the killing, start the killing

(Do you take this man to death for the rest of your unnatural life?
Yes I do
Do you take this woman to death for the rest of your unnatural life?
I do
I now pronounce you...)


[Repeat bridge 1 & 2]

=============================================

` I looked back, and I was old

Mood: greatly tested
Eating: No Frills 200g Sour Neon Worms
Now playing: Avenged Sevenfold - A Little Piece Of Heaven Album Version
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

Let me just quickly say wonderfully lovely the song I'm currently playing sounds? -- well!
It reminds me of Nightmare Before Christmas and something about broadway music which is LOVELOVE!
*ahem*

Moving along though, it really has been a while since I last posted.
The Olympic games are already ending .. I can't stay up to watch the closing ceremonies because I've got class the next morning, so yeah .. the Olympic games have commenced this year, and as it was rumoured, to start on the 8th of August of 2008, at 8 p.m. too.
I really want to see how the closing ceremony is being shown .. I mean, the opening was so FREAKIN' AWESOMENAGE that it's been said on the news it is the new best opening ceremonies since Sydney, Australia [lol].

That's how long I've been away for, but not only because of that!!
It was also the start of my assessments coming to their due dates and all, so lots of rushing about and not getting enough sleep and totally doozing off in class.
Not happy, Jan!
I really am grumpy when I lack sleep, and some people could tell, surprisingly with their apparent lack of common knowledge, they knew when to back off.
Thanks Alex, for not pestering me as much as you usually do when I'm in a somewhat approachable mood. Pfft.
[You may or may not be able to tell, this guy really really gives me the shit sometimes because of his annoying habit of, oh, ALWAYS coming to annoy me only .. I hear others say we flirt, I say otherwise and made it clear I'm not interested and to leave it and well, I also hear I've crushed him -- good.
I'd rather not have to deal with .. relationships just yet with the stress of college.
And besides, he can over-do things for my liking and his .. seemingly lack of common knowledge agitates on that he can appear pretty much, dumb].
Thus, I've been troubled ever since I returned back to college after the break.

I still need to get that package sent over to my penpal, Courtney, whose probably tried of waiting that long for a letter and really tiny pieces of gift-ness.
I am the shits when it comes to deadlines, really.
I can never get anything done till it's late minute, and then can I really feel that rush of needing to get things done or I'm going to FAIL!

Now that I think about it, I still need to go get some of my assessments to put into the teachers' drop box.
Imma so dead & failedz.
*sigh*
As my dad said, it's going to be a bad/rough/evil year for the snake, as I'm struggling to get things done, my health is probably out of whack and I seriously need to go to the doctors.
Only I haven't had any time whatsoever, and the holidays is the only time I'd really have time to go have lots of checkups.
That is, blood test & allergy test and go about getting back into shape, find some sort of counselling close by to me as I believe I'll soon reach breaking point any time now, and maybe - just maybe - look into getting a new hair style with a perm.

One thing's for sure though -- I haven't heard from Lee yet.
I really hope all is well and that his been doing really well and is just doing good that he hasn't had enough time yet to get on, and that hotmail isn't delaying him getting back to me, because he's been having problems with it for a long while now.
He is the only person I'd seriously consider allowing to have any sort of private-personal connection .. well, he already is.
Haha!

Anyways, I think I've typed enough here and I really need to go finish off some assessments that shouldn't take too long -- no, really .. my design for it is so simple it should just .. do itself.
And so!
I bid you all farewell and safe passage home and I shall see youse whenever I see youse~




.lidia

` Music && Soul v.53; PNAU

Album Cover: PNAU - PNAU
=============================================
Song Lyrics: PNAU - Embrace

On a night like tonight
You saved my life
Red and green
Wet shoes slip on refracted lights

Running faster than my legs can take me
Shouting louder than my lungs allow me

[Chorus]:
Why, as the rivers run
Still got time for someone
Be my embrace now
Be my embrace now
[x2]

Light a match
Bring the flame over to your eye
Slipping past, you won't see me before you die
Breaking down our sleep, my head's still aching
This war is killing you and all around me

[Repeat chorus]

You go, go, go, go [x4]

[Repeat chorus]

=============================================

` So much too little

Mood: mixed ..
Drinking: Water, for once
Now playing: Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

Can I get a HOLY SH!T shout out?
Hmm, didn't think so.

Much has happened in the short period of time since I last posted anything.
There are even more assessments to be done in even more short a time, with an even less amount time being spent because I'm mostly at TAFE/college now.
That is, I'm at school 4 days a week and then the weekends are spent working, which leaves only one day per week to finish about 8 different assessments all due pretty much the same time.

Of course, that doesn't really compare to an extremely sudden departure of a high school buddy who I'll leave nameless, as I feel that would respect their families and friends.
That person was a very much liked person around the entire school and community, and a very much lovable person and was bright and cherry, if not sometimes a little hyper but all in a good way.
I was fortunate enough to be allowed and notified to attend their services, but could not stay any longer due to work as they were not family related, and well .. work is a bitch in that sense that we aren't allowed time off to grieve for people that have affected our lives.
I couldn't get close enough to stand by their coffin without bursting out crying, and in my culture it is said we are never to stand next to the deceased and cry at their side as it would be harder for their spirit to move on.
I did eventually go back in to burn some incence and place them in the pot, and pay my respects without the waterworks.
I think what got me most emotional was seeing the family grieve, and especially the mother .. as she went up to the open coffin and stoked their cheek .. I had to look away before I started crying again.
It was hard on many people.

Anyway, since my friends have been all of a sudden got together there was tension between us and though I know we all felt it, we were mature and well-mannered enough to keep that to ourselves and carry on with that day. However, I believe there will continue to be tension but it definitely was not the time and place to bring the situation forward, and I'm glad we did put on our straight faces.
But it was still hard an effort.

...

On another note, my dad decided to upgrade on an even bigger TV screen, thus the TV screen from before is now used as my brother's computer screen [which is extremely huge for a computer screen anyhow] and his original screen is the one I am using now.
I've been waiting for a bigger screen.
I also got my brother's shelf, which needed to go to make room for the TV screen, and thus I gained another item which I needed which was storage, or some sort.
I guess I can tick that off my list of needs .. now, if only I could get a MacBookPro with the latest software/hardware I think I should be set.

As for my penpal, Courtney if you're reading this:
I'M REALLY SORRY I'M TAKING FOREVER TO REPLY TO YOU !!
I got most things set, I just haven't much luck with time to get into a Post Office and sign out all those forms and whatever crap needs my signature.
I wish they could make it easier on use somehow.
But by the beginning of next month, I'll be sure to have it ready to send over at the very least!!

...

Most the events in my life so far that I've typed out here are mostly jumbled up, but somewhat in order.
But I do apologise for any confusion -- it's just been a helluva month.
First the birthdays, the stress, then tragedy and then bitter happiness and stress mostly.
To sum up, to those that read these strange and not-very-coordinated blogs of mine -- thank you~




.lidia

` Music && Soul v.52; Sam Sparro

Album Cover: Sam Sparro - Sam Sparro
=============================================
Song Lyrics: Sam Sparro - Black and Gold

If the fish swam out of the ocean
And grew legs and they started walking
And the apes climbed down from the trees
And grew tall and they started talking

And the stars fell out of the sky
And my tears rolled into the ocean
Now I'm looking for a reason why
You even set my world into motion

[Chorus]:
'Cause if you're not really here
Then the stars don't even matter
Now I'm filled to the top with fear
But it's all just a bunch of matter
'Cause if you're not really here
I don't want be either
I want to be, next to you
Black and gold
Black and gold
Black and gold

I looked up into the night sky
And see a thousand eyes staring back
And all around these golden beacons
I see nothing but black

I feel a way of something beyond them
And I don't see what I can feel
If vision is the only validation
Then most of my life isn't real

[Repeat chorus]

I want to be next to you
Black and gold
Black and gold
Black and gold

[Repeat chorus]

=============================================

` Some things in life ...

Mood: Hmmm, non.
Chewing: Wrigley's Extra Liquid Blast Peppermint
Now playing: Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings ~

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!
I'm going back to TAFE/college tomorrow -- hopefully if everything has sorted itself out -- as a second year!
That only means, success that I've passed all my first year classes and more days needed to spend @ the campas, and less work days but longer hours; more travel && less time to get home to get to assessments and projects!!
I don't know whether to rejoice or cry in agony~

Some things in life though, are just better left unknown.
Such as, my little brother's love life where he told me, just like in normal conversation, that his already tongued 3 girls already.
Call me immature and childish -- hey, I know I am and will admit to it -- but I REALLY didn't need to know.
The song by Katy Perry that I'm listening to was cause of that awkward confession.
That is, I rather like the song not only for it's catchy beats *hint hint*, which prompted him to ask if it was because my orientation -- which, I have talked to about with friends and members of the family minusthedadthnx -- which then lead to further questioning.
I really don't want to explain the rest because it makes me feel embarrassed and well, I'm so not used to talking about these things with my younger brother >_>"

I can't be bothered sorting out what I'll be needing to take to class, only because, I don't have a proper timetable 'cept the info my international-korean-TAFE/college-buddy Kate emailed over, which was only a draft, so the class times could've changed by then.
So, I'll probably be bringing my miniatures of equipment, as I would love not to be luggaging lots of heavy things around, and so, bringing half of what the mostly needed things needed should be sufficient -- I hope!!

I seriously cannot wait for the day when I finish my course, and I seriously hope that I'll have some sort of luck which I lack, to get into the business and be successful there, in what I have in mind, and then have enough money to firstly, MOVE OUT and learn to be independent because boy, does my dad have a lot to say about me, in general.
And not in the nicest of ways either -- Such a piss off.
Moving along, once I've learnt to cope with being on my own I hope then to be able to try starting commissions as a sort of way to learn to keep practicing art making and such, and also a way to get some income of my own, on my own.
I think though, I won't move out until I'm 25 and over ... but it's my dream of coping on my own, someday at least I do hope I will be able to do these things.

Now, it's probably funny the way I've talked big about being independent.
That might be because I'm a fairly sheltered child, and one that's also sometimes too accepting of this but overall, is so scared of getting that first foot forward because, I don't know what everything will crumple down in disaster.
I think I'm agrophobic, fear of open spaces .. I went looking into a list of phobias.
Anyway, someday I will learn to cope and I will get over my many, many fears and some day, I will be able to stand up to my dad without any feeling of fear whatsoever.
I just hope, I don't become too cold a person.





.lidia

` Music && Soul v.51; Evanescence

Album Cover: Evanescence - The Open Door
=============================================
Song Lyrics: Evanescence - Lacrymosa

Out on your own
Cold and alone again
Can this be what you really wanted, baby

(Lacrymosa)
Blame it on me
(Dies illa)
Set your guilt free
(Lacrymosa)
Nothing can hold you back now

Now that you're gone
Feel like myself again
Grieving the things I can't repair and willing

(Lacrymosa)
To let you blame it on me
(Dies illa)
And set your guilt free
(Lacrymosa)
I don't want to hold you back now love

I can't change who I am
Not this time
I won't lie, to keep you near me
And in this short life
There's no time to waste on giving up
My love wasn't enough

(Lacrymosa)
And you can blame it on me
(Dies illa)
Just set your guilt free, honey
(Dies illa)
I don't want to hold you back now love

=============================================

` In the day and life of a lastest 19 year old named Lidia

Mood: Lazy
Eating: ÜLKER Biskrem Duo
Now playing: papa roach - Papa Roach - Tightrope (Hidden Track on Infest)
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings ~

I am official 19 years old and 7 days; I won't be bothered to note the hours and such.
The cake my mummy bought me the day before my big day, I kept in the fridge so that when I woke up the next morning, I could enjoy it for my breakfast.
Though, no body was home when I woke that morning to greet me with a happy birthday, but I think the cake made up for it and left me with a caty-grin.
It was made up of chocolate cake, and the fillings was the same as the frosting but it also had dark chocolate choc-chips covering the sides!
Very yummy stuff .. well, most dark chocolate delights are pretty yummy.

Oh, I lied about not being greeted with a happy birthday -- a few of my friends all sent me messages to my phone so when I woke up I was rather smiling to some degree.
I also did get a present for this years birthday of mine. It's a plastic panda that's made with the stand and it's solar-powered and bobs it's head side to side when I put it on the window sill to soak up the sunlight.
It makes a slight squeaking noise when it's moving it's head, but it's not fairly distracting and rather something welcome to hear when I wake up, and because my bed is situated right next to my window, I can see and hear the little panda bobbing it's head.
I think I've already talked about that, but anyway, again, it's a very cute and considerate gift and something that will hopefully last my lifetime.

Anyway, I've got the internet capped so I can't load too many things I'm usually loading, thus, I cannot watch the latest updates of my subscribees' vidoes.
BOOOOOO~
Oh well, it's what I get for loading so many Sailor Moon episodes on Veoh.
I got so excited that I found the episodes from where it got left off on TV where they stopped airing it because it got to the part where they were talking about new Sailor Scouts, that is, Sailor Neptune and Uranus, and because their relationship with each other was "talked about" then, they cut it off TV and oh, how it made me want to cry then.
BUT, nothing to cry about anymore because I can go and watch subbed episodes of it all without the annoying english dubbed voices and many times, edited episodes.
So I am quite grateful to those members on Veoh who uploaded all those episodes and all those people behind the subtitles!
And so, as soon as we're uncapped .. I'm most likely going to get the internet capped again by loading all those episodes I've yet to watch.
Fufufufufufu~

It is such a bad thing to stay home all day doing nothing, but I refuse to make more availabilities for work too!
I'd rather home than work really, as of the moment I'm still just doing low earning income of a job and I have to deal with a few of those people who are annoying at registers. I suppose I'm grateful for not being a supervisor, but they get more money which I'm wanting >_> but then again, I'm not very good at handling situations at all.
I get overly flustered and start panicking, which is not a good thing since I do suffer from some sort of panic attacks, not to mention when people get irritated, I'm not one to stay level headed.

Therefore, I am trying to finish my TAFE/college course and come out with a certificate that will allow me within the Graphic Design departments and it's sub-quarters and such, and leave me with some good material to show case to businesses/companies/agencies.
I hope that what I'm doing will allow me to get a chance to travel overseas, and I have my eye on London, and be able to give me enough opportunities to work and live over there, PLUS, it would also give me a chance to finally meet up with Lee.

Although I've been with my friends over here throughout my schooling days, I've never ever meet someone who I could call a best friend.
I used to use it too flimsily for anyone that would, pretty much, be an ass kisser to me or at least anyone that was nice enough to me.
Now that I've grown up in age, and hopefully, in mind too, I've learnt to never use the term best friend for just anyone, and I'm thankful that I was able to keep it long enough to give it to someone who I have finally felt like I could trust with my life.
Yes, unfortunately, not all of my friends in the past would have done this for me, or so they say, but I've learned a few things on the way about those "friends" of the past, that they were quite probably not being much friends at all.
Anyway, the point of all this is basically, it's funny how over here with lots of people already, that my best friend is actually all the way over the other side of the globe, who I've never met in real life but considering this, I felt more safer and felt I could trust Lee more than any of my other friends over here.
Now, not that I don't trust the friends I have here already, but I've never been able to fully tell at least one of them all of how I've felt and thought, because sadly, most of the time they would try to ease the awkwardness they felt whenever I said something that was too weird in their books, and so they never really accepted it but just eased around it. So, with Lee, I've felt that I could tell all and not be judged in the slightest and thus, being able to share that much too, and to be able to really care about someone plus the fact we're miles apart, I was glad to have finally found someone I trusted enough to call my best friend.
Though words can't express all of how our close relationship is, I can safely say that Lee has become more than just a best friend, and noooo, we're not lovers but I think that if in the end, neither of us find the one, we would probably end up together instead.
That's the type of feeling I get with Lee.

Anyway, I could probably have more to type, but whether I can continue to keep typing is a whole other matter.
My fingers are starting to freeze up and get all stiff-like!
I'm quite sure I've typed a bit that my fingers feel this way, so I'll go and end it here for now.
Thank you for those reading~~




.lidia

` Music && Soul v.50; Ladytron

Album Cover: Ladytron - Witching Hour
=============================================
Song Lyrics: Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch

Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way
Anything that may desert you
So it cannot hurt you

You only have to look behind
At who's undermined you
Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way

[Verse 1]:
Everything you touch you don't feel
Do not know what you steal
Shakes your hand
Takes your gun
Walks you out of the sun

[Verse 2]:
What you touch you don't feel
Do not know what you steal
Destroy everything you touch today
Please destroy me this way

Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way
Anything that may delay you
Might just save you

You only have to look behind you
At who's underlined you
Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way

[Repeat verse 1 & 2] x 2

=============================================

` Mid-summer winter; thatrightthereiswacked.

Mood: wishy-washy
Drinking: Lipton iceTea Peach Flavour
Now playing: Duffy - Mercy
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

Finally got my very last assessment handed in just in time, on the last day to get it handed in.
*phew* thank goodness that is all over - now - just to wait for results to see if I passed enough to enter into my 2nd year in my course!
Deathly nervous about it all .. firstly because I hope that one teacher didn't mark me that low to not pass, and secondly, because I really hope I didn't waste my time there for nothing.
A total of 4 hours trip back and forth to the college campus, so really, I need to have passed!!
If all is well, then I'll need to keep an eye out for the timetable .. the link to which I have yet to give to Kate [my TAFE buddeh] -- eep!
*does that first ...* -- never mind, the site link which was posted doesn't work, yet I think.

Anyway, today officially marks my little cousin Nathan's 2nd birthday!!
Hoorah!!!!!!!!
And lucky me, since I had to go to TAFE this morning and since his family live near the station I was stopping off at, my mum picked me up and we headed to their place and they got the cakes and YUP! i totally dug in with the frosting XD
...
My mum also mentions when she saw me eating my cake and all clean, that I was like that when I was young .. high and mighty, as she put it, but gentle as my uncle put it.
Like, on the show Ladette to Lady where you get a bunch of misfit chicks and chuck them in a school where you're to learn how to be a lady and such -- basically, acting all lady like.
I think the dainty would suit.
WTH? But still, flattering nonetheless. But eh, whatever happened then is probably long gone but there only slightly because of habit.
...
AND, ladies and gentlemen and darlings, tomorrow will be the anniversary of my Grandfather's passing [on my mummy's side] where I suggested today that we should go pay him a visit.
Because I hoped we'd have a gathering, but alas, that is not to be expected as I hoped we [relatives] could all go back to my family's to celebrate my birthday that would be the day after.
But really! I really did mean for everyone to pay their respects to my Grandfather .. and it's kinda hard not to remember that it's one day before my birthday, really.

Moving along though, I'll be turning 19 for those who were curious.
I know, wtf, right? I don't look it at all .. geez, I know I look old already -- totally the height.
No, I don't think I'll be celebrating with friends and such this year .. I haven't planned anything and it would be waaaay too short a notice to ask anyone now anyway, so yeah, just a small thing for myself.
I plan to go order a cake myself for myself .. a panda cake!!
But what else :P
So yeah .. just enjoying it all myself really.
How sad, lol.





.lidia