in birth and passing.

dear lovelies,

it has been will be a strange sort of july.
i say this because the first thing that marks july for me is my grandpa's anniversary.
he was a stern man, my mum comments that she used to be afraid of him
but not because he would go ape-shit like mine, merely his strict look did the trick.
my mum also comments on how she wished she'd spent more time with him.
i wonder if i'll look back and think the same about mine? who knows.

then something wonderful albeit saddening happens;
i finally turn into a legalized adult and leave my adolescents behind.
finally, i turn 21 years of age.
my friends took me out in the morning to go shopping and treat me.
got to indulge in my chocolate-sin, yum!
- cue work transition -
later in the evening, a nice pizza-filled dinner with family and friends.
nothing big though mind you, just a nice small gathering of good people
which makes me both happy and sad.
anyway.

not too long after, from here and there I found out one of my work-mate's has passed.
she was younger than i was, had so much more going for her.
although i didn't get the chance to really hang out with her, i am beyond privileged
to have been in her life, how ever minute.
i was suppose to get more of that chocolate powder mix she recommended,
but there was none on the shelves anymore.

i have been in the process of healing myself;
from myself, for myself.
take care.

xo

-- lidia.

mutantTEETH&othermishaps

lovelies~

i got an x-ray done for my teeth.
turns out i have pretty badly positioned teeth, though they're 'straight' enough as it is.
i have a feeling they'll pull out a number of teeth, not just my 3rd molars [wisdom teeth]
but also this mutant tooth that's growing inside the gum, on top of another tooth that was suppose to fall out when i was a kid, but never did!
i also think i'll have to get braces too D: so much money [that i don't have! bye bye moving out this year…]

already hurting my wallet as it is
spending so much since i got a debit card which allows me to buy things online without paypal, for now
[ still waiting for them to 'deposit' those small amounts to verify account!! ]
but got myself some nice online sales while it lasted, ohohoho~
seriously though, i need to save more!

… let us hope i learn to do so soon, plz.

xo

--lidia.

warmer weather.

lovelies,

got my schooling stuff sorted!
skipped a whole year and starting off from the 2nd :)
i'm thinking about doing a 3rd year
hopefully the job markets don't think i'll be too old then!
as well as TAFE/college
i'm undertaking an online Uni course

so, this is my thinking:

1. successfully complete diploma while also undertaking online course
2. look for job / continue with a 3rd year
3. complete advanced diploma / look for job / still doing online course
4. get job / continue course until
5. complete
6. pay back fees / while in job

at least, that's how i've planned it all out anyway :\
not everything goes according to plan so!
FINGERS CROSSED!

getting back home after classes is interesting
once got a rough looking gentleman comment positively on my looks
even throwing in that he should have married me
[hahaha!]
then another time, i'm waiting for the train
it's a warm day so i'm fanning myself and an elderly man
comments whether or not my fan is working,
slightly i reply and he laughs and decides to sit down next to me
[one should note there are plenty of other places to sit]

anyway, he asks if i'm a student or not and what i'm studying for
and goes on about something genuinely interesting facts
things such as investing in equipment now, so i can later can them tax free
or something similar, and get my own business name registered
have a company started now too, so by the time i finish school
i'll be hitting the road running :)
talked a while once our train arrived and boarded.
though i think was starting to feel light headed facing one direction
while the train was moving another direction
[i'm sensitive like that, unfortunately!]
well, time for me to take my pit stop while he travels by
-- mostly him just talking and me listening and trying my best to be responsive enough.

so yes, some interesting albeit strange people one can meet on their travels.

xo

-- lidia.

orientation day.

hello there children/kids/lovelies.

after successfully NOT completing my course first time round
i've gone back to re-enrol for a whole course duration
though i'll be needing to talk to some teachers about recognition of prior learning :\
thus, because i was fresh out of high school into college/TAFE
i was highly unprepared for 'matured learning'
my head just refused to want to learn anymore than it already did for the past 13 years of my early life
and i believe, lead to my downfall and therefore!
when i reapply for my course, my classmates will be majority made of people younger than me

i find this strange and all too new because most of my life was spent feeling too young
as i was usually one of the younger peers within my group of friends and associates.
nevertheless, change happens and i must learn to deal!

anyway~
to my story of attending my newly enrolled course orientation day
i woke up later than i should have, which had me in a major panic
and not to mention i'm an extremely anxious person with little to no patience actually
thankfully my mummy was able to drive me to the station
the closest being at least 20 minutes drive, plus the traffic due to schooling hours
takes about another hour or so to actually get to my college's station where i need to get off
THANK GOODNESS for express not-really-express trains!
[ by the by, i saw my cousin Sally get off the station just before my half-way stop off ;P ]
basically the faster train i would usually get, with bonus advantage of even fewer stops
(luckily for me too!)
well, i'd still need to walk at least 20 minutes extra after departing from the train but again
another good moment was that the road/walk-way goes down so like, even faster walking!
and i'm a fairly fast-ish walker too, so once more, bonus!
AND, by the time i get there i could still spare a good 50 minutes to go sort out my travel concessions :P
worrying for nothing? well, almost but still i have to say, someone was making sure things ran smoothly for me (thank you recent and past onward relatives! ><)

possibly the only downer for the outcome of all this
was i had to cancel a shift at work, last minute [eep!] when the bosses and such have already gone through telling all the workers to stop cancelling last minute
–– not to mention it was one of the managers that picked up my call too!!
i just hope he was able to sort out my cancelling of that shift for that one day ><"
and that i DON'T get fired!!!! [i've already been counselled for other things, see…]
&&& it was warm weather so that left me feeling all dizzy and sickly and sweaty, yucky.
so not a very nice walk UPHILL to get back to the train station and make a slow way back home, bleh.

but overall, the orientation itself was a whole lot more informative than the last college/TAFE i attended.
got some handouts and proper folders and all that spiffy-cool stuff; very 'professional'.
but one would hope so! being that it's known not just as a college/TAFE but a design centre.
PFFT, fees went down but now they add extra costs … 'materials charge' they say.
still! much more organised as well with what goes on first and such.

but enough of that.
i'll be needing to get my head into the game, for real this time
–– applied for an online Uni course too! so double the amount, and even more self-motivating!!
wish me luck.

xo

– lidia.

psychic reading.

don't you just hate it when people assume the worst of you?
i sure do. bugs me to the core actually.
if anything, with much hoping i'll be away from said person :)

moving along!
i recently got a psychic reading done for me
-- very exciting stuff!
the main question i asked was about my career path
whether or not i'm on the right track of sorts
but mostly i guess i was feeling like i'd like to know my future, in general.
the lady-psychic must have picked up on that
pin-pointed some stuff that made me laugh and cry.

was told without having dealed the deck that there's someone controlling around me
[ that's too true! straight up as well. ]
but that i'll be alright, i will move out soon and hopefully find a good place
to rent as a group, so it's cheaper and more affordable obviously.
she even advised me on these things! which i'm entirely grateful for

if one has not noticed
i really appreciated people telling me the extra info
as i'm the type of person too shy to ask these things.

anyway, she tells me to take my mummy out more
make her feel beautiful again because said controlling, assume-the-worst person [ my father ]
has just really 'ripped her apart' and makes my mummy feel so bad
and i really am a mummy's girl!
so that hit a chord, meaning yes i shed a tear or two.
lady-psychic goes on to tell me that my mum will break away from my dad
[ YESSSSS! ]
as soon as i find my own feet in life, and such.
i cannot wait for this to happen and yes, lady-psychic pointed out i am impatient and laughed kindly about it too, as did i -- just too true.

goes on to say that i might look into psychology
and yes, i have been greatly interested in that field :)
as well as philosophy, and was told to look into more 'alternative therapy' stuff
like essentially, the line of work lady-psychic is in
apparently i'm particularly empathetic towards people, feelings is my thing it seems ;)
can't argue there as i do love to be the person people come to talk to about their problems and i deeply want to help as much as i can and help 'heal' them
[ i was told i would be a good healer too! ]

then it got to the 'exciting' stuff like love :P
as it turns out, i might just end up marrying … and i always said i wouldn't
my mum will love telling me this, haha.
well, luckily for me this person to enter my life will be perfect for me
c'mon! what's more to say? except i'd be married that one time and we'll have 3 kids!
this is the type of thing that also makes me cry-laugh.

and lastly, we reach the point of past lives
i might have died in a fire, leaving behind 2 sons at that!
lady-psychic tells me i should consider a trip to San Fransico
it could bring back memories, make me feel all teary but released
and one day, if i get into a career of a counsellor [ which pays good, or so i'm told ]
i'll be able to go there, with my 'other' and buy all those pretty lacy dresses i so love
but try to deny myself, which ties back to my past life because it was around the time of beautiful lace and dresses and such … that made me go OMG.

SO, that pretty much sums it up!
lady-psychic also tells me to look into meditation and shiatsu.
there was a book she mentions but i've totally forgotten :(
but not to worry, so long as i get my mind-body-soul love then i'll be fine.
all in all, i will be just fine.
OH!
and career wise, yes, i am on the right track!

xo

-- lidia.

a little willowy.

listening to: Bat For Lashes - Seal Jubilee

no time getting all sentimental these days

currently in Melbourne for my grandmothers passing away

was feeling sickly travelling in the car all the way here

feeling highly selfish because i needed some medical attention

so, it's been a strange-crazy start for the year.

trying to get back to updating this a little more often

and perhaps not neglecting this place too much

also, thinking about picking up a pen and drawing

got all the ideas there, the materials …

just never know where to start though :\

hope you lot have been better.

xo

--lidia.