`lidiæxcessive.: ` Sometimes, I'm more than crazy.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

` Sometimes, I'm more than crazy.

Mood: Grumpy-esque & tired
Drinking: WATER! healthy eating...
Now playing: Emilie Simon - Swimming
via FoxyTunes
----------------

darlings~

I.am.lacking.MAJOR.sleep.
So to say the least, my grumpiness follows due to the tiredness and everything getting to me more, things are just more irritable than usual and so on.
Ha, and I had read a previous entry about wanting to stay awake by fellow dA buddy and Blogger, Jarred but that might have been due to nightmares, which was also part of that said previous entry, hmmm .. I'd probably want to stay awake too if creatures like that would manifest itself whenever we had bad nights sleeping due to having nightmares.

...

Anyway, I really should be doing some college homework.
BUT! Being the possibly Adult ADD diagnosed that I am, I just can't seem to focus on what I need to get done until the very last minute!
I know I should go see the doctors about it, but heck, I barely get enough time to do any homework, as I really don't have enough time left by the time I get home, from traveling home, from college. A major brain-buster just then X_X

I need to finish off a website design, that I can code in Dreamweaver - which I don't have as I only still have like, oh, Windows XP and the very first edition of it not to mention, so I'm very limited on the kind of new programs/softwares I can install onto my computer.
Thus, I'm screwed if I don't have it ready by .. tonight/this morning, because if I don't have the very basics I'll most likely be behind class - again.
I have too many other college projects I'm lagging on because:
a) I get too many to handle
b) I can never concentrate enough to start any till the last minute
c) I'm so tired of staying up all day and night just trying to start off, but isntead drifting off to sleeps every few seconds and thus, the brain is unable to fuction to it's mostly full copacity.
Again, I am seriously not feeling that urgentness to complete anything still.

...

I really, really, really, REALLY need some sort of new computer to handle graphic files, be able to have the latest programs/softwares that I can use to finish off projects and something I can take with me as well so I can continue working on said projects in case I still stay up.
THEREFORE!
I'm in dire need of a MACbook, pronto/stat!!
My dad's work mate had suggested to him that he could get a MACbook PRO for less than the $2000 mark, for around $1700 which I no longer have that much in my bank account as I've taken money out to give to my Mummy on a weekly basis where she holds onto it.
Like a bank where I have no access, but can be sure neither does anyone else except for the one holding onto it for me (Mum) and whenever I need to use it, I probably will be able to get to use some of that money, where I hope to save up on that MACbook PRO.
I hope the offer is still valid though ... T^T *cries*

Too much melodrama in my life!
I can't wait to successfully finish to get my diploma and find some work in my area of liking, where I've spent 2 years worth learning about and hope that will allow some passage into the workfield I'm looking forward to, or I can work at home and become a noobie graphi designer trying to offer anything I'm good at, for service and hope for the best.
Who knows, maybe I can earn some living like my buddy from high school, Chung, whose been drawing anime since I've known her and has been making a living off it through dA and Gaia, and such and she'll be finishing her diploma this year at a different TAFE/college than mine.

MOVING ALONG!
I'm still CBF about college stuff, can't seem to sleep when I really need to go rest up.
GARH!! My body/brain is stupid! Yes, I know .. me included!!!!
I'm an existence that shouldn't have been, really .. but considering the circumstances, I just wasn't meant to happen so soon, or maybe never.
Pfft~! That one was up to my dad, but he married my mum still after he got the news, ha.

I wants to hit my head on something to render my unconscious, allowing me sleep, an excuse for not having finished anything at all and hopefully, rebooting my "get active" system :)

--lidia.

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` a w e s o m e . q u o t e s

"Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity." - Christopher Morley ==================================== "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." - Friedrich Nietzsche ==================================== "There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience." - Anatole Broyard ==================================== "Books to the ceiling,/ Books to the sky,/ My pile of books is a mile high./ How I love them! How I need them!/ I'll have a long beard by the time I read them." - Arnold Lobel ==================================== "When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about." - Albert Einstein ==================================== "Art is science made clear." - Jean Cocteau ==================================== "In the end, we will conserve only that we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught." - Baba Dioum ==================================== "There are lots of ways of being miserable, but there's only one way of being comfortable, and that is to stop running round after happiness. If you make up your mind not to be happy there's no reason why you shouldn't have a fairly good time." - Edith Wharton ==================================== "The future is much like the present, only longer." - Dan Quisenberry ==================================== "The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it." - George Orwell ==================================== "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." - Edgar Allan Poe ==================================== "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson ==================================== "Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick ==================================== "I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him." - Mark Twain ==================================== "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history." - Dan Quayle ==================================== "I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Robert McCloskey ==================================== "Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it." - Ellen Goodman ==================================== "Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes." - Aaron McGruder ==================================== "Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." - Mark Twain ==================================== "If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you." - Don Marquis ==================================== "Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." - Franklin P. Jones ==================================== "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." - Samuel Butler ==================================== "The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum." - Havelock Ellis ==================================== "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." - Friedrich Nietzsche ==================================== "Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was." - Margaret Mitchell ==================================== "Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." - Oscar Wilde ==================================== "I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some." - Herbert Rappaport ==================================== "What others think of us would be of little moment did it not, when known, so deeply tinge what we think of ourselves." - Paul Valery ==================================== "If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us." - Hermann Hesse ==================================== "There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes." - Doctor Who ==================================== "In a mad world only the mad are sane." - Akira Kurosawa ==================================== "Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised." - Marilyn Manson ==================================== "When ideas fail, words come in very handy." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ==================================== "We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered." - Tom Stoppard ==================================== "When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice." - Marquis de la Grange ==================================== "Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down." - Post Secret ==================================== "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." – Charles M. Schulz ==================================== "Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." - William Dement ==================================== "In order to live, let live." – Baltasar Gracian

`lidiæxcessive.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

` Sometimes, I'm more than crazy.

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