you should have aborted me.

i.

Last night

as I looked myself over

in the mirror

with my black eye makeup

running black tendrils down my cheeks

I was a classic case of

disaster and absolute disgrace.

ii.

In one moments thoughts

there I was, digging into my flesh trying

to cut out a poison

born in blood

but another thought enters

about my pre-cut nails, didn't seem

adequate to pierce through skin

-- finally a rational idea

if I may say so myself.

iii.

Tips of blades

frighten the cores of me

thus, that plan has backfired

before it began.

iv.

It is quite an amusing thing how

easily the heart and soul are crushed

and the mind so readily tricked to

falling into a state of darkness that

as quickly switched on as it is off, such like

the humble light bulb who can produce

brightness into a room while just as simply

banishing it's source and welcoming

overwhelming false night.

v.

I haven't felt very human in

a long while and

I'm quite daring to test

whats ever left of

my humanity--

perhaps I'll see you in Hell, daddy dearest.

vi.

Not that I'd enjoy your

very presence though

-- sorry for the wake up call.

vii.

But someone had to do it, its

what I'm made for, for

being the very thing

-- your catalyst of

disaster and absolute disgrace.

viii.

I'm no future of yours

I'm no saviour of yours

I am flesh of 

another with genetics of you

I am flawed remnants of you and

by your God, I wish to

rid of you.

ix.

Though, as you say

not so lightly

"I'm stupid", "puta"

"A piece of shit" and other

vulgar terminologies.

x.

Don't be too surprised when I

snap and beat you when you

are weak and a defenceless

sorry excuse of a being

like you have made me.

10.1.2009

L.