` Music && Soul v.14

Single Cover: "Umbrella" - Rihanna ft. Jay-Z
=============================================

Song Lyrics: Rihanna ft. Jay-Z - "Umbrella"

[Jay-Z]: Ahuh ahuh (Yeah Rihanna)
Ahuh ahuh (Good girl gone bad)
Ahuh ahuh (Take three ... Action)
Ahuh ahuh, hooo

No clouds in my storms
I let it rain, I hydroplane in the bank
Coming down with the Dow Jones
When the clouds come, we gone, we Rocafella
She fly higher than weather
And G5s are better, you know me
An anticipation, a precipitation
Stacked chips for the rainy day
Jay, rain man is back with little Ms. Sunshine
Rihanna, where you at?

[Rihanna]: You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
May be in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby 'cause in the dark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because

[Chorus]
When there's sunshine, we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

These fancy things
Will never come in between
You're part of my entity
Here for infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard
Together we'll mend your heart
Because

[Repeat chorus]

You can run into my arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
Come into me
There's no distance in between our love
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because

[Repeat chorus]

It's raining
Ooh baby, it's raining
Baby come into me
Come into me
It's raining
Oh baby, it's raining
You can always come into me
[fade off]

=============================================

` Fingers Crossed & Success: Keep praying, still need info!

Mood: Stressed but alright
Eating: Nothing, no more chocolate
Listening to: Kidney Thieves - "Black Bullet"
=================================

elloz my lovely readers ~

Today .. my dad and mummy have gone to work, and my brother has school and my cousin's gone to TAFE [I think he goes TAFE, I don't know D:], so that pretty much left me home alone.
Well, Ruphy was still here but he only comes out when he sees someone but being the sleepy head I am I slept in :) until around 9:30 AM when I couldn't get back to sleep.
I got myself out of bed, did my daily morning-wake-up ritual, which basically is getting out of bed [duh, and no .. I don't fix up my bed 8B], then going into the bathroom to get my teeth brushed, my face washed and dried before putting on some cream so my face doesn't dry out and shrink :D! No really, it shrinks and if I move my head it'll like, look like it's being pulled at :x eep! It's scary ..
Okies, so moving along. I got that done, went downstairs for breakfast .. then I remembered I finished those protein milkshakes and went damn, and tried to look for something that'll be alright for my breakfast.
I ended up not eating anything, but the rest of my chocolate I bought from work and some overdue chocolate in the fridge 8D! Yes, I currently want to chuck a No. 2 *thumbs up* Life's grand, not.

After getting back upstairs, into my room and surfing the web on MY computer, I figured today since no one is home, I might as well ring up the colleges again. Success! I got the info I needed, and rang up the TAFE place to ask how to fill out the form properly, and if I could just photocopy my HSC certificates .. and forgot to ask whether or not I submit my applications as one .. and/or if I need to submit it to my first preference and like .. yeah, the OTHER important stuff.
I'm making myself a mental note to call them .. oh crap, tomorrow's weekend, hmm. I'l try again the following weekday, and ask where I submit my application and if I only need one x_x gosh, just 'applying' for TAFE is hard enough .. enrolling is worse 'cause you have to show up at the place you really want to go at, show up real early or else you don't get a spot!! I know! SCARY !!!
So yeah .. I suppose I'll just wait for my stuff from Hornsby to get sent to me, and do all the requirements and all that yadda. I swear, I have a bad feeling about getting something done, since I'm the lazy ass, after all. PRAY FOR ME!

Hmmm .. what else? Umm .. well, I downloaded some music while waiting and stuff. I finally got more songs I can put on my fake iPOD .. which reminds me I need to charge it.
One moment, please!
....
Okies, backers. Yes, so now I've got my MP3 plugged in, and I'm transferring all the newer songs onto it, while charging it still. Seriously, I was using it one night and didn't charge it and used it the next night and not even half way through, it died. Not enough energy. AND! You don't know when it's full or not .. so I just keep it plugged and on, just in case x_x I can't sleep without music!
Oh! The new songs I downloaded was by the Kidney Thieves, who've broken up already. Apparently. And the lead singer, called Free Dominguez or Free Dom. [LAWLS, that's cool] has started a solo career, which is awesome I think, because we still get to hear more from her. She's got an awesome voice.

ANYWAYS, I think that's about it. Got to remember to call TAFE course line again, on the coming weekday .. ask for where I submit my application and what I do about applying for more than one course .. yadda.
Well, thanks you for reading ~

xox Lids

` Music && Soul v.13

Album Cover: Emilie Simon - "La Marche de L'Empereur"
=============================================

Song Lyrics: "The Frozen World" - Emilie Simon

Won't you open for me
The door to your ice world
To your white desert

I just want to stare
Out over these snowfields
Until we are one again

We belong to the frozen world

When the ice [when the ice]
Begins to thaw [begins to thaw]
Becomes the sea
Oh [oh]
You will see
How beautiful we can be

[When the ice begins to thaw
Becomes the sea]
Oh [oh]
You will see
How beautiful we can be

Everything is calm
At the end of the planet
In our white desert

The sun kissed the ice
It glistens for me
And we are one again

We belong to the frozen world

When the ice [when the ice]
Begins to thaw [begins to thaw]
Becomes the sea
Oh [oh]
You will see
How beautiful we can be

[When the ice begins to thaw
Becomes the sea]

=============================================

` Fingers Crossed: TAFE

elloz my lovely readers ~

I'm a little lazy today, so no mood eating listening to yadda.
So, the TAFE applications and everything for semester two have been put out [about time] about a few days ago and I got my form. Now, I just need to find if one of the courses is going to run or not, and get the application course code number so I can fill out my form properly .. then get someone to help me fill it out all right.
I also need to ring up the courses I know are running, to see if I need to submit anything along with my application .. like examples of my artness using a certain medium and whatnot. I've been trying to call the place I put on as my first preference, but I keep getting put onto the answering machine, very annoying! I'll hopefully ring them back later and they'll hopefully actually be there to answer a few of my questions.
I'm pretty nervous and frustrated about it all. Nervous because it's been a while since I went out, and if I get into TAFE then I'll be meeting a whole bunch of new people, and knowing me I'm not too good with meeting new people ^_^; so VERY nervous about that. I'm frustrated because it actually takes a long while to get it all set up, and I wanna go and get out there and learn, use my brain, get it working 'cause it's seriously slowing down and I feel dumber than ever.
But overall, I think I'm pretty happy that I still have a chance of studying. I hope when I get into the course I'll meet some nice people .. though I'm afraid I won't, not so talkative when I'm by myself .. I'm rather cold and mean x_x ... scary.
In all fairness though, I do that so I have like a defense .. I would prefer NOT to get picked on and all. Gosh, I almost feel like going to Ultimo with Anthony [who's been 'trying' to get me to go Ultimo since it's where his learning at ..] but argh, the only thing I wanna learn at Ultimo is Advertising under business .. I think it'll be boring but it goes along the lines of what I wanna do for my future career. Another frustrating thing there .. what exactly is it that I want to do? I'm not sure .. but I'll keep searching.

I'm using that funky track-ball mouse .. it's fun to use, LAWLS.
Anyways, I think that's about all I wanted to type out for now .. I'll have to ring the college places up again, and hope that a PERSON is able to help me out.
Well, thanks for reading ~

xox Lids

` Music && Soul v.12

Album Cover: The Heart Of Everything by Within Temptation
=============================================

Song Lyrics: Within Temptation ft. Keith Caputo - "What Have You Done"

Would you mind if I hurt you
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
Than to harm the one I love

What have you done now?

I know I'd better stop trying
You know that there's no denying
I won't show mercy on you now

I know I should stop believing
I know that there's no retrieving
It's over now
What have you done?

What have you done now?

I, have been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
What have you done now?
Why? Why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

What have you done [x4]
What have you done now?
What have you done [x4]
What have you done now?

Would you mind if I killed you
Would you mind if I tried to
Cause you have turned into my worst enemy
You carry hate that I feel
It's over now
What have you done?

What have you done now?

I, have been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
What have you done now?
Why? Why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

What have you done [x4]
What have you done now?
What have you done [x4]
What have you done now?

I will not fall
Won't let it go
We will be free
When it ends

[I, have been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
What have you done now?
Why? Why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you] x2

=============================================

` Sharing is caring ~

Because I'm such a lazy bugger, please go visit MiQxNoiR for my latest journal entry on deviantART, under the journal entry title: ` Sharing is caring ~
Thanks for stopping by ~

xox Lids

` Music && Soul v.11

Music Clip: Madonna - "Frozen"
=============================================

` Music && Soul v.10

Album Cover: Lily Allen - Alright, Still
=============================================

Song Lyrics: "Littlest Things" by Lily Allen

Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your misses
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't know why I trusted you but I knew I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, it seems
That I can't shake these memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too

The littlest things take me there
I know it sounds lame but it's so true
I know it's not right, but it seems unfair
That things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, tell me
Is this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed
Watching DVDs
When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines
You'd take me out shopping, and all we'd buy is trainers
As if we never needed anything to entertain us
The first time that you introduced me to your friends
And you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
When I was feeling down, you made that face you do
There's no one in the world that could replace you

Dreams, dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of me and you
It seems, it seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you feel the same way too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it's so true
I know it's not right, but it seems unfair
That things reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, tell me
Is this the end?

=============================================

` For Linda: We enjoyed it!

Mood: Neutral
Chewing: on Extra Sweetmint flavour
Listening to: "Smile" by Lily Allen
============================

hello my lovely readers ~

How have you all been? Well I hope.
Todays been a good one. Went out this morning about 10:40 AM to Anny's house 'cause us and the rest of the girls were going to meet up @ Cabra around 11 AM to catch up in the City.
I got there and I was pretty excited to see Anny again, haha. I almost lost my way walking to her house! Hahahaha, so yeah .. we waited there for a while for Lucy who came with us in Anny's dad's car, who drove us to the Commonwealth bank since I needed to get money out :x I needed the money! Yeah, so when I got my money we went and then walked to the station.
Gosh, we didn't wait too long and then saw Thai-Anh and the Twins, Anna and Poli. Then later came Chung, who I was freakin' LAWLing and hugging to death, and then finally Mylinh came [zoh my gosh, she came out with us this time except we're still missing a person!] It was so good to see them all, well almost all since the organizer, Linda, couldn't make it since she booked in an appointment for her mother at around the same time as we were planning to leave, same day, and she had to attend to the doctor's with her mum. So, I was pretty much happy to see almost all of them. It'd been yonks since I last saw them.
And when we were waiting at the station, we saw Danny and Jenny who, might I add looked really professional with their uniforms and all, and talked a bit. It was pretty good to see them too. I mean, talking to them all and everything, seeing them all again .. gosh, it was just so good!

Moving along, so we got our tickets and boarded our train, talking the whole way there practically, oh and not to mention taking loads of pictures too xD
The plan was to go to the Cold Rock and all get ice cream there, and of course we had to pass some markets along the way and might I add, I was pretty much engrossed with all the clothes on sale, LAWLS.
Me and Chung went around the little area to see what we could get ourselves. She got this really nice grey/black stripped, long sleeved shirt along with a cute little red, cardigan button up jacket. I, on the other hand, got myself 2 lovely little tops. One was stripped black/white and the other one was a complete grey one. It's pretty then though mind you.
Right, so we pretty much spent a little too much time there and I happened to spend a few too!
So then me and Chung went around looking for the girls who were buying juice, LAWLS, so we didn't spend much time trying to look for them, alright!
But now we needed to find Thai-Anh and Mylinh, oh nose! Never fear though, they were found in a restaurant eating x_x a restaurant. And we thought they were getting take away, but since they wanted something Italian I suppose you could allow them to be in a restaurant ;P

Anyways, afterwards we planned to go to the Cold Rock, and gosh did we look lost when we got there! We weren't too sure how much everything was and how we were to mix stuff.
The lady working there was kind enough to show us what to do. They girls all got ice creams and mixed them up, but I decided to stick to something plain, just in case my stomach didn't agree.
I went with Choc Mint ice-cream with choc-mint sprinkles, LAWLS. I was suppose to get a cone and no mix in but the lady most likely didn't hear me.
And good thing too! Because after we got out and took a few photos, Poli, who was the only one with a cone, had her ice-cream run all over her hand while she was taking photos of us.
LAWLS, poor Poli. So she got cleaned up and most of us finished our ice cream and then Thai-Anh 'lead' the way.
We pretty much went in a circle. So Chung took over the lead and we went to Myers. Oh my gosh, the amount of fumes from all those purfumes made me get a headache and made me feel like crap x_x too much for my senses to handle really.
Most of the girls were having a ball just around the purfume area, and later we spotted those make-up stands where the Myer cosmectic workers put make-up on for you.
Haha, Chung and Thai-Anh were the ones to get their faces pretty up'd, and gosh they looked nice! Chung really wanted to learn how to put eye liner on so good ol' Poli sat down and let the lady put eye liner onto her. Vioala, the girls now know how to put eye liner on, LAWLS!

After that, we pretty much went around a few clothing stores. It was nearing the day and went to a cosy little shop and rested there for a while. They had bean bags and chairs there, we couldn't resist. Took more photos too.
Then we went into Supre when we were almost heading home, went into the shop and I did a little more shopping. I know own another bottle of black nail polish and a brand new liquid eye liner! Zoh my gosh, so happy about that one xD
Then of course, we decided it really was time to head home and all boarded out trains.
I don't know what's with trains, but they allowed us to talk a lot more then when we were walking around the city. We took a whole lot more photos then.
And being me, I don't like my 'trying to smile' smile and just did whatever in almost all the photos taken on the train back home.
I can't wait to get them from Chung! Haha, some very cute stuff on there.

And then, we arrived back @ Cabra, walked over back to the side we came from and then headed our seperate ways back home.
I already missed them before the train ended. But it's alright because we'll be meeting each other again for Anny's birthday party @ the Rocks in the city!
I decided to catch the bus that Chung was also catching, but since we had time we headed into Wollies and got Chung her credit I said I would get her.
Getting back to the bus stop that had out bus waiting there already, was going to be a bit tricky.
The lights were still red when we just stepped onto the foot path and then half way it freakin' goes green, we get honked at by the stupid coach driver and quickly made our way onto our bus.
LAWLS, my 2nd time of almost getting run over. Anyhoots, Chung asked if I knew where to get off and I was like yeah, don't worry. She got off first and then later I had to wait a little while @ Bonny Plaza and then the bus continued on to my street and I got home safe and sound.

I'm pretty happy with how the day went, minus getting honked at by the stupid coach driver of course, but everything else was good fun.
I really enjoyed myself today with the girls, and let's not forget to thank Linda for setting it all up for us, who unfortunately couldn't make it even though she set the day out up.
Still, we had fun and yeah .. it was a good day.
Can't wait to see all the photos from that day xD I look ridiculous in most of them, but I love being able to make the girls laugh.
Haha, well thank for reading ~

xox Lids

` Oh woe v.1

Mood: Unknown
Chewing: on Extra Sweetmint Chewing Gum
Listening to: nothing, yet again.
================================

hello my lovely readers ~

It's time for a new entry, I'll say. Yes indeedy so, because I have a few things to tell you about.
Well, for some of you who don't know there has been currently one working, internet exploring computer that sits in my room, which my brother used to hog all the time.
The laptop was what I went by with .. though, my mum did at times .. kidnap it away from me, so I couldn't use it anymore and so she could use it, to play her games.
That's right folks, you heard right - her games.
I find that cute .. though, when she wanted to use it I wouldn't think so. LAWLS.
So the point is, I'm now officially the owner of the computer sitting in my room and my brother got the new, sleek black computer with a mother of a LCD screen and my gosh, is it big.
And just when I get excited that I finally don't have to wake up seeing my brother in my room using the computer which wakes me up, and getting almost ALL my stuff deleted from the laptop after transferring almost ALL my stuff onto the computer, it fucks up on me.
And to make things worse, it's that f'd up that I have to format the whole damn thing.
My stuff .. gone. All those lovely deviant wallpapers I was going to use on the computer and those pretty deviants I could use on the windows user's picture .. GONE.

And so, here I type .. on my blog.
Not too happy, but not too sad either because I can still get most of the things back.
Mind you not all of them, of course. If only, but yeah .. I still have my art stuff left on the laptop so that's good.
Well, just wanted to blab. It's about 11:03 PM now .. and I'm tired and my dad is wanting me to go to sleep now AND I need to try to wake up @ around 6 AM to download the things I need back onto the computer.
Thanks for reading ~

xox Lids

` More boring days ...

Mood: A little bit moody
Eating: Chewing on Sweetmint
Listening to: Nuffin' at the mo.
========================

elloz my lovely readers ~

Haha, yes I am back! Though I was more than a little annoyed just a bit earlier because this damned laptop wouldn't work properly. It was so laggy!! Grrrr.
Oh, and today I'm working too! Till closing .. and I start late as well! I really don't like working, but I get paid .. and well, I need the money to put in savings. After all, my family isn't one of those other families able to wip out thousands on dollars on hand.
Not that my family needs to do that now or anything, but I like the fact that no matter what I'll still be able to get some money out if needed, and also that I have actually saved up money. You know, kinda makes me proud.
So, anyways .. the laptop was pissing me off and my parents have been a pain to me since they keep telling me to do stuff. I'm lazy, and trust me they know. I don't think I'm going to get anywhere until I've got a place in TAFE to do a design course .. I miss the whole learning something new deal. I really miss it.
I mean, sure staying at home is fun yay, don't have to do much but it's really boring. And knowing me I don't like going out unless I really have to, in which case whenever I get home I will shower only near night, just in case I need to head back out for whatever reason.
Oh, which reminds me .. today near night time I was supposedly going to the temple with Chung and Anny [who like, totally did not tell me about it till yesterday!!!!] but the only day going to the temple that I knew about, was on the Sunday. And I was really looking forward to it but nooooooo, she aint going that day but like today at night, but I'm working the late shift!!!!!! *sigh* Oh wells.
I feel so lazy. Heh, no .. I AM lazy. I'm gaining weight and I really don't like that. Grrrr .. and my dad made me eat lunch. I don't eat in the mornings or for lunch, just dinner and some nibblies. I drink this protein shake for breakfast, don't eat anything for lunch and sometimes don't eat any nibblies .. and then dinner I don't really eat much. I think I might have a sensitive stomach 'cause I really can't eat much at dinner .. and whenever I do eat dinner, sometimes I get sick .. not too much but like don't feel good.
Anyways, ranting as per usual. Thanks for reading ~

xox Lids

` Music && Soul v.9

Album: Deftones - "Change (In The House Of Flies)"
=============================================

Song Lyrics: "Change" by Deftones

I watched you changed
Into a fly
I looked away
You were on fire

I watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel so alive
I've watched you change

I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed

I watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel so alive
I've watched you change

It's like you never
Had wings

Aaaahhhh-ah-aaaaahhhhh [x6]

I look at the cross
Then I look away
Give you the gun
Blow me away

I watched a change in you
It's like you never had wings
Now you feel so alive
I've watched you change

Now you feel alive
You feel alive
You feel alive
I've watched you change

It's like you never
Had wings

Aaaahhh-ah-aaaaahhhhh [x6]

You've changed
You've changed
You've changed
Into a fly

=============================================

` Suicidal Feeling & Possible Attempt No.5

Mood: Suicidal & Lonely
Eating: Allen's Strawberries & Cream Lollies
Listening to: "Gardenia" by Malice Mizer || "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton
============================

elloz my lovely readers ~

So, as you can tell I'm a bit .. sad, suicidal [slightly] and feeling extremely lonely.
I'm in my zone, funnily enough. But still .. I want someone to hold me tightly.
Someone to help make me feel alright again, which I'm hardly ever at most times.
I'm thinking about him .. my mystery lover, heh .. bright green eyes and smooth blonde hair.
I feel much better now. Just thinking of him does that. Amazing, isn't it?
I think so anyways. I don't know what I would doing to deal with how I'm feeling right now.
Most probably attempting suicide no.5 .. yeah, I haven't tried that in a while.
Suicide, that is. The last time I tried was when I thought about ODing myself .. but I didn't want to be like having a seizure or something after that. I wanted a quick, painless death.
Damn .. if only I had a gun. LAWLS. Yeah, I'll laugh about that .. tring to lighten the mood.
Though I'm not too good at it, I'll try anways.
I feel a poem coming on .. but I feel too lazy to think up 'big words' to use .. to help 'emphasize' my poem, and give it more 'meaning'.

Anyways .. I wanted to keep this as short as I possibly could.
Just a little venting, yet again .. this time without writing a poem first, but instead a blog entry!
Well, thank you for reading ~

xox Lids

` Grandpapa's, Anthony Callea, Temple && Feast @ my place

elloz my lovely readers!

Yes, I'm still alive after working four-freakin'-days in a row!
Ha! I bet you were all like, better she didn't survive, ay ay ?! Kidding ~
I love you all .. well, those that have taken their time to read my blogs anyways TT^TT
Just you peoples, 'cause you're cool.
Sooooooooo .. I'm a little hyped after today, woke up @ around 7 AM [zomg, no way .. I know] to get ready to go visit my grandpapa's and got their, sprinkled a little.
Then my cousins and aunties came and we kinda had this little gathering and then we got packed ready to go to my local temple which was pretty packed and we were early!
I bought myself those little jade decorational keychain thingyo stuff - a light green jade flower which has the same symbol as Hitler [=w= roflpfft] on the back of it attached onto a red stringo, and I also got this white jade fish which had little jade leaves attached with a yellow stringo :3 I liked the fish better now, so I'm giving the flower one to my brother xD I know, I'm so nice.
ROFLPFFT ~
Now I'm back at home, and my cousins and aunties came as well .. dude, it's kind of like a feast whenever we come back from the temple with all the food. Haha, but that's good for me since I like to eat!

And in other news! It has been confirmed that Anthony Callea is in fact - gay!
Trust me, I have nothing against homosexuals. I'm a bisexual so, ha!
I'm making such a big deal out of this though because one of my cousins that's here with me now, you know .. one of my cousins that went to our grandpapa's and the temple, yeah ..
Well, she loved Anthony .. so yeah. Hahhaahahahahhahahaha !!!
Oh, the poor dear. Don't worry though! She still loves him and I'm not making this hard on her.
So, chillax folks!

Anyways, that's just about what I wanted to type for now.
Oh oh, wait! I don't work until the next Friday!
Ah .. it's much nicer that way ~
Well, thanks for reading!!

xox Lids

` Reminscing & Forward Thinking

elloz my lovely readers ~

I've been thinking about making a sort of vlog .. but I don't have any video program.
I mean, I have a webcam .. but ugh, it usually only works with 'video features' when I've actually used it for like a webcam convo on MSN or something. The sound and all works.
But say when it's not being used with MSN, all it does is take 'snapshots'.
And that's about it. Nothing else much.
Soooo .. I dunno. Just random thought I guess .. been having a lot of those lately, LAWLS.
I couldn't sleep properly because I was reminiscing about things in my life such as my school's Year 12 Concert 2006. Gosh, I still can't believe I participated in that .. hahaha, I sung!
Oh, and of course I couldn't forget when I get up there and about to sing, my mics off [without my knowledge, duh] and well .. yeah, hahahaha.
And I wouldn't have been up there if it hadn't been for Anny, who sung with me and my gosh she can hit high notes, and all the time she was saying she couldn't ;P Pfft ~

Ah, what else ... ?
Well .. there was this dream I once had .. it was the very few dreams I have where I'm not in control and that usually means I'm actually dreaming, other times I'm sort of like in control so that means it's not really a dream .. just me using my imagination.
So yeah .. I'm dreaming that I'm in the house that I'm in .. but the area where you eat, was like from my uncle's old eating place arragements.
Oh, and this uncle of mine used to be pretty scary to me but now LAWLS, his pretty cool.
Getting back to my dream .. my dad was doing all the house work .. hahahaha, probably deep down that's what I want him to do .. I dunno, and my mum was smoking a green cigarette.
LAWLS, again.
But my parents seemed very relaxed .. hardly the case as of now. But yeah .. they seemed happy in a way and that made me happy.
Then I noticed at the stairs [since I live in a 2 story house] that there were 2 little kids, not asian .. white skinned. The boy older and the girl younger .. they went upstairs and I'm seeing this like a movie [as usual with most of my dreams] and then they went into my brother's room which has a bunkbed and there was this 'ghost' lady who had beautiful long black hair and she was wearing this blue, kimono sort of dress .. and then she like moved her hand flying away and the kids hit the wall above the bunkbed and I could feel that.
That later I somehow was just outside the bedrooms and there was this guy [this part I didn't tell my mummy - too embarrased!!] who kinda .. pinned me down on the ground, lying on top of me and said that no matter what, he'll always love me .. the way he said it was like a look of sadness and desperation. I felt like I knew him from somewhere but I couldn't place it.
Then .. he leaned down and kissed me sweetly, which I returned with so much love .. if there ever was .. and zomg, he has like thin-ish blonde hair and bright green eyes.
Mystery lover guy in my past ... probably [giggles like a stupid school girl]

Moving along, whenever I am reminiscing about things and I'm reminded by him .. I feel warm and fuzzy and all that shizzle, but I feel safe and so loved.
Personally I really like blue-grey eyes .. but his green eyes were like .. wow, hypnotising.
I dunno .. I have this want to find out about him .. but where do I start ?! I didn't see his face that properly .. but I only noticed his hair and eyes.
Maybe I was astral-projecting myself with someone else that did that too and knows me from there and loved me? Whatever the case, whenI feel lonely and scared .. I think about him and I feel better. Who ever he is .. I have this feeling like his always watching over me, protecting me.
And right now .. I feel nostalgic and sad when thinking about all this. But happy at the same time. Hahaha .. damn warm and fuzzy feelings, LAWLS.

Anyways! I thought this was going to be a nice short entry .. though when I look back I doubt it.
I just needed to type things out before I had to leave for work .. gosh, how I wish I didn't work anymore, hahahah.
Well, thank you for reading ~

xox Lids

` Music && Soul v.8

Album: "Loose" by Nelly Furtado
=============================================

Song Lyrics: "Say It Right" by Nelly Furtado

In the day, in the night
Say it right, say it all
You either got it, or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan

[Chorus]:
Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show
You tonight, you tonight

[Chorus]

From my hands I could give you something that I made
From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body I could show you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy [Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh]
Do you really want to go?

[1, 2, 3, 4]

=============================================

` That's right folks: She's back!

haha, elloz my lovely readers ~

It's been a little while, hasn't it? Yeah .. sorries about that folks!
Been busy working, working and working.
No such luck on updates for TAFE yet .. they don't even have the new applications or anything out yet! Oh oh, and last time I tried ringing up a college to check their vacancies .. there were none!
The nice lady said that the TAFE site must be slow on updating .. and seriously, it is.
Wow .. just checked up with the website and they've finally updated it .. yeah, probably just a few weeks ago. My gosh.
I'm starting to really want to get into TAFE now .. working and bumming at home gets boring, ya know. Plus, I want to be doing things that'll get me thise piece of paper which will help allow me get into University to get a better piece of paper where I will hopefully get and then work within the industry I'm really interested in. Though I do feel like doing multiple courses, but of course I don't have that kind of money to be able to do that. And, I'm not smart enough to get a scholarship for it either .. the disadvantages of being dumb.

In other news though, I've been talking to my friend Lidia and gosh, I feel so loved.
She's the kind of person, when I think about it .. you know, they're usually like 'don't approach, intimidating' to other people but get to know them more, they're the sweetest people ever.
At the moment though, she's been going through a rough time and I feel really guilty just sitting here, not being able to go to her side and comfort her, or help her feel better, be there to actually talk to .. not just type/read to .. I really want to be able to be there for her like a real friend. But, given my circumstances I'm in .. I don't exactly have money out of now where to spend on plane tickets, accomidation, food, transport and so on. If I did though, oh .. the things I would be able to do! I'd jet there ASAP no problems.
I'm glad though, that we do have internet, as a means of staying in contact to people and everything. So, I'm still able to be there for her, even while I'm over here .. though I still feel like I could offer her more if I was actually there with her.
Hey, no don't get me wrong here .. yes, I'm attracted to women but I'm not like that with her. I feel extremely strongly with most of my friends, especially those that I've known for a very long time and that've been there through think and thin.
Heh .. I've been told that I'm weak hearted, that I tend to stick with family/friends and all that, which is true. I'm not afraid to admit that. I feel very connected to my family and my friends .. I guess that throughout it all .. I know that these are the people that'll always be there for me, no matter what, and it's nice to know we do have these people to always be there for you, to help you out no matter what happens .. people that help shape who you are, and eventually, what you will become.
Hahaha, yeah .. all triggered because I really want to be there for Lidia. Oh not me sillies, my awesome friend with the same name as me.
I know, she might say otherwise but if she really liked the name, I'll keep calling her that and probably, only know her that way. But I don't feel cheated or lied to .. I can't say I will understand exactly why .. but, you know, it's alright.

Ah, the TAFE site still doesn't have an updated application form for mid-semesters .. damn.
I bet by the time it's time for mid-semester I'm going to miss out .. I know I'm paranoid, but I get a bad feeling that I'm not going to make it in, and I'm going to fail again .. and I don't like being looked down on.
I hate that feeling.
I hate feeling small and that everyone's better than you, that they're able to get out there and achieve something while I'm lagging behind.

Anyways! A little change on presenting this 'little' entry of mine .. I like to be spontaneous, or at least I try to be. Ha, I'm a Cancer .. usually the type to stick to something firmly .. and I want to try to be different. I hope I am!
Ah!! Totally going off track here .. um, change of presenting and well, apologises for not blogging for a while .. kinda wanted to test the archive thingyo .. hahahahha.
I'm proud to be weird.
Well, thank you for reading!

xox Lids