` Reminscing & Forward Thinking

elloz my lovely readers ~

I've been thinking about making a sort of vlog .. but I don't have any video program.
I mean, I have a webcam .. but ugh, it usually only works with 'video features' when I've actually used it for like a webcam convo on MSN or something. The sound and all works.
But say when it's not being used with MSN, all it does is take 'snapshots'.
And that's about it. Nothing else much.
Soooo .. I dunno. Just random thought I guess .. been having a lot of those lately, LAWLS.
I couldn't sleep properly because I was reminiscing about things in my life such as my school's Year 12 Concert 2006. Gosh, I still can't believe I participated in that .. hahaha, I sung!
Oh, and of course I couldn't forget when I get up there and about to sing, my mics off [without my knowledge, duh] and well .. yeah, hahahaha.
And I wouldn't have been up there if it hadn't been for Anny, who sung with me and my gosh she can hit high notes, and all the time she was saying she couldn't ;P Pfft ~

Ah, what else ... ?
Well .. there was this dream I once had .. it was the very few dreams I have where I'm not in control and that usually means I'm actually dreaming, other times I'm sort of like in control so that means it's not really a dream .. just me using my imagination.
So yeah .. I'm dreaming that I'm in the house that I'm in .. but the area where you eat, was like from my uncle's old eating place arragements.
Oh, and this uncle of mine used to be pretty scary to me but now LAWLS, his pretty cool.
Getting back to my dream .. my dad was doing all the house work .. hahahaha, probably deep down that's what I want him to do .. I dunno, and my mum was smoking a green cigarette.
LAWLS, again.
But my parents seemed very relaxed .. hardly the case as of now. But yeah .. they seemed happy in a way and that made me happy.
Then I noticed at the stairs [since I live in a 2 story house] that there were 2 little kids, not asian .. white skinned. The boy older and the girl younger .. they went upstairs and I'm seeing this like a movie [as usual with most of my dreams] and then they went into my brother's room which has a bunkbed and there was this 'ghost' lady who had beautiful long black hair and she was wearing this blue, kimono sort of dress .. and then she like moved her hand flying away and the kids hit the wall above the bunkbed and I could feel that.
That later I somehow was just outside the bedrooms and there was this guy [this part I didn't tell my mummy - too embarrased!!] who kinda .. pinned me down on the ground, lying on top of me and said that no matter what, he'll always love me .. the way he said it was like a look of sadness and desperation. I felt like I knew him from somewhere but I couldn't place it.
Then .. he leaned down and kissed me sweetly, which I returned with so much love .. if there ever was .. and zomg, he has like thin-ish blonde hair and bright green eyes.
Mystery lover guy in my past ... probably [giggles like a stupid school girl]

Moving along, whenever I am reminiscing about things and I'm reminded by him .. I feel warm and fuzzy and all that shizzle, but I feel safe and so loved.
Personally I really like blue-grey eyes .. but his green eyes were like .. wow, hypnotising.
I dunno .. I have this want to find out about him .. but where do I start ?! I didn't see his face that properly .. but I only noticed his hair and eyes.
Maybe I was astral-projecting myself with someone else that did that too and knows me from there and loved me? Whatever the case, whenI feel lonely and scared .. I think about him and I feel better. Who ever he is .. I have this feeling like his always watching over me, protecting me.
And right now .. I feel nostalgic and sad when thinking about all this. But happy at the same time. Hahaha .. damn warm and fuzzy feelings, LAWLS.

Anyways! I thought this was going to be a nice short entry .. though when I look back I doubt it.
I just needed to type things out before I had to leave for work .. gosh, how I wish I didn't work anymore, hahahah.
Well, thank you for reading ~

xox Lids